Bitch-Back! Will Lea Michele Find Glee Love?

Readers ponder the possibility of Glee stars getting cozy off the set!

Dear Ted:
Are we ever going to see Lea Michele with Cory Monteith or Jonathan Groff? It's really nice to watch her lose weight and it will be best not to see her alone. Pictures are better to watch if there is a couple on it!
—Vicko

Dear Groff Medicine:
Not likely on either count. Cory and Lea are not on the same level of, well, anything, and Jonathan is an out-and-proud gay man (at least in the theater world). Unless Lea's got that kind of sexual prowess, neither one is plausible.

Dear Ted:
Joe Jonas is friends with Ashley Greene, and he and Nick are both friends with Demi Lovato. Will the boys ever be friends with Miley Cyrus again?
—M

Dear Not for Niley:
Dare you even think that Nick and Miley won't reconciley? Bah! They'll be tight again soon enough, my nonbelievin' dear!

Dear Ted:
Is Moisty Mohr Ed O'Neill from Modern Family?
—E

Dear Modern Mohr:
Now that's an interesting guess. Still, nope, though. Mohr isn't the kind to do that whole sitcom thing. His fame comes from other genres.

Dear Ted:
Can I please have you pass on a request to Summit? If the execs read this column like you say, then please, Summit, release two versions of Breaking Dawn! One that's edited to be PG-13 and one that's rated R for us that want the sex and birth scenes done right.
—Klines

Dear Movie Dreams:
Oh yeah, babe. Two completely differently edited versions? Yes, that'll fly right through Summit like a breeze!

Dear Ted:
Has Nicole Kidman ever been the subject of a Blind Vice, either solo or as part of one?
—Fleming

Dear Are You Kid-ing?
Duh! She's a solo offender. And it's quite the naughty little piece of goss, too!

Dear Ted:
Seriously, Levi Johnston has a bodyguard? Really? Would anyone besides Sarah Palin even recognize him if he wasn't trying so hard to be recognized?
—XXOO

Dear Johnston's Johnson:
Judging from how his handlers treated him at the Teen Choice Awards, it was more like he was surrounded by a group of goons that laughed at his jokes on the carpet. But I've gotta admit, the guy's a looker—he had that whole press line staring.

Dear Ted:
Is Crotch Uh-Lastic strictly a silver screen star?
—Ranya

Dear Crotch Grab:
No.

Dear Ted:
I live in Ann Arbor, Mich., and saw David Arquette and Hayden Panettiere tonight. David could not have been a bigger sweetheart; however, his costar Hayden could take a few lessons from him. Is she really as stuck up as she came across?
—Hunter

Dear Haytin' on Hayden:
Oh, you better believe it, allegedly. She's really a nasty little thing, allegedly. And I'm not exactly covering my ass from legal, allegedly.

Dear Ted:
How about the movie of the musical La Cage aux Folles starring Brad Pitt and George Clooney? Pitt in very serious pretty drag. How much fun would that be?
—Mike

Dear Birdcaged:
We already have The Birdcage and the original La Cage aux Folles. Must it really get the Ocean's Eleven treatment? Plus, I must be honest, love, your casting of Brad as Albin is the most uninspired thing since Sarah Palin's moose cookbook.

Dear Ted:
I only discovered your column a few months ago and I must say it is my new guilty pleasure (second only to Twilight). Seventeen years ago I married my childhood sweetheart and three kids, 20-plus pounds, a mortgage and a minivan later, I still find him sexy as hell. My question is this: Because of my history, I find myself rooting for Zac and Vanessa, Robert and Kristen, Nick and Miley (still holding out for that one) and others like them. Am I just naive, or can young love really endure the tests of time in Hollywood? If so, please give a few examples.
—Not-So-Young, But Still In Love

Dear Living in Love:
First off, congrats on your life, sugarpuss—it sounds like a damn happy one! As for young Hollywood love, it's a rare thing, I'll give you that. I can't speak to the marriage futures of Zanessa, Robsten or Niley, but I can attest that young-ish couples have succeeded. Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, Courteney Cox and David Arquette, Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick...not exactly young love that's withstood time, but they were certainly young enough when they met!

Dear Ted:
Are any of the Twilight stars dating each other?
—Kerra

Dear Whaaat?
Yes. Welcome to the Awful Truth, dear. Orientation starts on Wednesday.

Dear Ted:
With all the discussion about Lisbeth Salander, I just have to ask what your take is on Hollywood's lack of original material. Time and time again, studios remake foreign films into an American version, and sometimes, they remake their own old movies! There are so many examples, and most of the time, Americans are completely unaware they're watching a recycled version. What is up with that?
—Ann

Dear Unoriginal:
It's true. Hollywood is now a town of recycled comic books, sequels, prequels and remakes. But have there ever really been any original ideas? We're lucky to get a few a year that aren't based on books. Not that much has changed since the Golden Age, puss!

Dear Ted:
Last September, someone asked if Kellan Lutz was a B.V. and you said, "Not directly, no." Did that mean that he was a guest star in one but didn't have his own moniker, at least back then?
—Shalom

Dear Killin' for Kellan:
You don't think, given all the Twi vices, he's been mentioned at least once? Not one teensy little time?

Dear Ted:
Is Ed Westwick Nevis Divine and is Jessica Szohr Miss Costar? Am I close?
—Stine

Dear Szhor Thing:
Nope, but what fantastic and close guesses those were! Kudos!

Dear Ted:
I've been reading the comments on Rob's smoking. How cool would it be if he kicked the habit and did a public service announcement? Can you see the camera start with a close-up of his dreamy eyes as girls are screaming in the background and he says something like, "You don't have to smoke to be hot." Ha! A girl can dream. I'd like to see him have a long and happy life.
—Love Rob but Not the Smoking

Dear PSA:
I'd love that! Perhaps that's the new Awful campaign, after the movement to get Rob an Oscar? Although the outlook's looking quite bleak for both of those at the moment...