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"Singularly distasteful."

The Parents Television Council on Adam Lambert's American Music Awards leash demonstration? Close. The Sept. 16, 1956, New York Times on Elvis Presley's hip-censored Ed Sullivan performance.

If our outrage over rock stars is nothing new, then neither are our rock stars. From Elvis' pelvis on down, they are nothing if not dedicated to sex, more sex, the next new single, which is probably about sex, and ticking off people who prefer their s-e-x to be not so explicit, thankyouverymuch. 

Criticizing Lambert for what he did, smooched and pawed at the AMAs is like criticizing that Paula Deen lady on the Food Network because she made something with butter: It's what they do.

And the other night, Lambert did his job very well.

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Karen Alquist/TLC

Kate Gosselin never wanted it to be this way. But since it is this way...

Having to shut down its cash cow thanks to Jon Gosselin's gripes, TLC seemed to make sure that its litigious former star ended up smelling like a bed of anything-but-roses on Monday's series finale of Jon & Kate Plus 8.

Kate took six of the kids to an organic farm, where they pet kittens and milked cows, and everything was wholesome and lovely! Meanwhile, even raising money for firefighters, Jon came off looking like the bad guy.

"I always wonder, 'Are they safe, are they protected, are they well thought-out?'" Kate, who called the premature end of the show "bittersweet," mused during one of her one-on-camera interview segments. 

"And I do worry about his intentions and his motives for such things," she said, referring to the lemonade stand Jon set up to raise money for their local volunteer fire department. "Is this a publicity stunt? What is the bottom line of it? I don't like when my kids get caught in the crossfire of that stuff."

Cut to Jon banishing Mady and Cara from the site for being "unappreciative" and then begrudging the sextuplets their fun exploring a firetruck while he stayed outside selling lemonade. Then he donned a full fireman's suit and took a few Darth-Vaderesque breaths.

Kate's concerns come to fruition, or some crafty editing?

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ABC/ADAM LARKEY

From Argentine tango to Viennese waltz, the final round of Dancing With the Stars had a little bit of everything.

Finalists Mya, Kelly Osbourne and Donny Osmond danced three times apiece on night one of the ABC hit's two-part finale, which will culminate tomorrow with one of these endearing celebs being crowned queen or king of the ballroom.

Though neither Donny nor Mya has ever been in the bottom two (or three) and Kelly and her can-do attitude have obviously developed quite the following, voters' loyalties may well have shifted during the course of the evening thanks to the hit-and-miss nature of the routines.

We always expect the anything-goes freestyles to be especially exciting...so perhaps that's why we're even more let down when they fail.

But we're getting ahead of ourselves. First came a Latin round. Then they did a group Mega-Mix, in which all three couples performed the same Viennese waltz, samba and jive choreography simultaneously.

We broke it all down for you:

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Timbaland says he's got nothing but love for Chris Brown, despite the fact that Brown is now an ex-contributor to the MC's latest album.

"The decision was a mutual decision since both artists were at the time working on their solo projects," a rep for Timbaland tells E! News in response to a TMZ report that Brown's vocal on "The One I Love" was dropped due to all the "drama" in his life.

"Chris is a friend to us," the rep said.

Neither version is particualrly farfetched, but that's the official word.

Another rapper on the track, D.O.E., told TMZ that the tune was originally titled "Maniac," but was changed to "The One I Love" because of Brown's involvement.

Timbaland's latest solo effort, Shock Value II, is due out Dec. 8. Brown's new album, Graffiti, drops the same day.

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Get a load of the latest videos in both Chris Brown and Rihanna's repertoires right here.

Rick Rowell/ABC via Getty Images; Sean Gallup/Getty Images

Do Leona Lewis and Vivienne Westwood have some sort of exclusive fashion agreement? Or is the singer just gunning for Pamela Anderson's modeling gig?

Leona has worn the British designer's creations on the red carpet three times in November alone! First were these sequined harem pants. Then, just last night at the American Music Awards, she wore the same friggin' bodice that she sported at MTV's Europe Music Awards!

We're all for designer devotion. But. Come. On. Switch it up a bit, girl.

Still, the leather bodice makes for one sexy getup. We like the longer, custom-made version better. The added tulle is much more dramatic.

Which version of the dress do you prefer? Vote now in the Style Showdown gallery! 

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Check out more fashion statements from the 2009 American Music Awards.

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To get at the truth, the family of Kandi Burruss's late fiancé is looking to raise the dead.

A.J. Jewell did not have sickle-cell anemia, according to a spokesman for Jewell's relatives, who have requested that a second autopsy be performed by a private coroner to clear up any inconsistencies surrounding his death last month from a head injury sustained in a fight outside an Atlanta strip club.

Results are expected in about two weeks. The Real Housewives of Atlanta fixture was laid to rest over a month ago.

The Fulton County medical examiner ruled Jewell's death a homicide and the other guy in the fight, Frederick Richardson, has been charged with voluntary manslaughter.

But Jewell's family disagrees with the finding that sickle-cell anemia aggravated his injuries.

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Marvel Comics; Evan Agostini/Getty Images; Tony Barson/Getty Images

Natalie Portman knows from fanboys. First, there were the Star Wars prequels. Now, there's Thor.

So what exactly attracts an Oscar-nominated actress to comic-book fare? A love of Norse mythology? Beefy blond guys twirling hammers? A potential franchise? Not quite.

"I just thought it sounded like a really weird idea cause Kenneth Branagh's directing it," Portman said during the weekend junket for her much more highbrow flick, Brothers.

"And Ken Branagh doing Thor is super weird. I've got to do it."

She's in good company. Portman will star alongside Chris Hemsworth (as the hammer-wielding god of thunder), Anthony Hopkins, Stellan Skarsgard and Stuart Townsend. Filming starts in January for a 2011 release.

The decidedly less weird Brothers, with Tobey Maguire and Jake Gyllenhaal, hits theaters Dec. 3.

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Thor isn't the only flick stocking up on A-listers. Check out our Casting Couch gallery now!

MLS.com; Lester Cohen/Getty Images

Khloé Kardashian and Lamar Odom finally have a roost to call their own.

E! News confirmed Monday that the newlyweds have purchased a seven-bedroom home in Tarzana, Calif.—pretty close to Kris and Bruce Jenner's abode in Calabasas—for close to $4 million.

In addition to sleeping quarters for all of Khoé's siblings and a few Lakers, the Mediterranean-style manse has nine bathrooms, a gourmet kitchen, a gym, a theater, a pool and spa, an outdoor cooking space with two fridges and a barbecue pit, and a driveway that can fit around 15 cars.

We're just going to assume that high ceilings were a prerequisite.

Not bad for a first home as husband and wife—and they even got a deal! The price had recently been reduced by a million dollars due to the real estate-unfriendly economic climate.

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While we wait for a Khloé at Home gallery, check out Khloé on the Karpet.

John Shearer/Getty ImagesColumbia Pictures; John Shearer/Getty Images

Tobey Maguire is still Spider-Man. And that ticks off Jake Gyllenhaal.

See, Gyllenhaal almost took over the superhero role in 2003 when Maguire's bum back had him sidelined. Maguire healed. Gyllenhaal still stews.

"People have very often said to me that I look like Tobey," Gyllehaal laughingly told us at the weekend press junket for their new film,  Brothers, in which they play—yes—brothers. "To all those cab drivers in New York, I'm not Spider-Man!"

As for the guy who is Spidey, Maguire insisted there's no ill-will between him and Gyllenhaal over the near-replacement in the big-bucks franchise.

"I got really excited about the idea of working with these guys [Gyllenhaal, costar Natalie Portman and director Jim Sheridan]," he said of the new Oscar-baiting sibling-rivalry drama, due out Dec. 3.

But enquiring minds really wanted scoop on Spider-Man 4. And this is what Maguire told us.

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• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are still doing what they can to save the world. Last year they donated $6.4 million to charities—that's more than double what they gave the previous year.

• Adam Lambert is getting all the attention he could ever dream of after last night's "shocking" performance.

• Have you ever wondered what Katie Couric booty dancing might look like? It's your lucky day! Happy Almost Thanksgiving!

• Creed's Scott Stapp is talking about the sex tape where he and Kid Rock get blow jobs on a tour bus. He would prefer if we didn't call it a sex tape because, "well, there's no sex on the sex tape," he says. "For it to get characterized that way, I mean, that kind of sucks." Celebrities have really gotten picky about how we label their sex tapes.

• Well, this is probably one of the dumbest fake Robert Pattinson quotes we've read (but too dumb not to share!): "People ask me to bite them and want to touch my hair. I just don't want someone to have a needle and give me HIV and I don't want to get shot or stabbed."

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Katherine Heigl obviously wanted a baby so they could color coordinate.