Bitch-Back! What's a Hunk-Muffin to Do?

Dishing the dirt on superyummy Australian star Sam Worthington

By Ted Casablanca Apr 07, 2010 12:33 PMTags
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Dear Ted:
So Sam Worthington has gone from being a nobody to being the star of some seriously successful films in just a few years. I've rarely seen that kind of success (or the hangers-on it attracts) fail to corrupt. Tell me, the very lucky adopter of a former death-row doggie, is Worthington as shallow as his films, or does he have a deeper, darker side?
—M.

Dear 'Tude Cop:
Worthington's exactly as you see him: charming, quiet, a bit surly and totally hot. He doesn't fake it, at all. Word's he's a one-woman man, too (unheard of!), but I doubt that'll last overly long. I mean, even Russell Crowe took time to test the female waters (over and over), so I doubt Worthington'll be able to resist all those babes throwing themselves at him much longer. Just a hunch.

Dear Ted:
You confuse me. One minute you agree that Miranda is wrong for Orlando and they can't break up soon enough, and in another post you seemed thrilled they are hot and heavy again and still together. What is it? Do you like them together just because they are so beautiful? Take a stand will ya!
—Troy

Dear Oh, Whatever:
Look, as long as Orlando's going to keep torturing us with these ridiculously unlikely pairings, I can at least enjoy the scenery in the meantime, can't I? Life's easier that way, I find. Try it!

Dear Ted:
The media has been reporting the Eclipse premiere will be Robsten's coming-out party, so to speak. They are supposedly attending as an "official couple." Your thoughts please.
—Tina

Dear Wake Me When It's Over:
I'm sorry, did you say something? This is getting better than Ambien, the way the media talks about how Robsten will—or will not—come out as a couple. Uh, we here at the A.T. have known about this for a year. That's not to say we won't be even more happy to see a little Robsten tongue on that damn carpet.

Dear Ted:
Cruella St. Shackles is with Marky Sweet-Puss now, but was she ever involved with another Blind Vicer? You should do a post one day and call it six degrees of Blind Vices. I would like to see how they are all connected.
—Scornedsunshine

Dear Fab Idea:
Think you're onto something, sweetheart, as Cruella used to hang only with Fey Oiled-Tush; how did you ever know?

Dear Ted:
Do you think Topher Hairy-Tuchus will ever come out?
KH Bunny

Dear And I'll Go Straight:
No.

Dear Ted:
Brad Pitt
has been called Angie's husband in the U.N. report of their recent trip at Bosnia; are they secretly married? Or did they elope?
Emma

Dear Does It Matter:
He's her bitch, whether it's legal or not.

Dear Ted:
This whole Marc Cherry /Nicollette Sheridan debacle has me wondering: Has M.C. been a Blind Vice and what have you heard about his actions behind the scenes?
Momma

Dear Detective Diva:
I like Marc Cherry. He's always been cool with me, but then so too has Nicollette Sheridan—until all this crap went down. And no, Marc's never been a Blind, though Teri Hatcher sure has.

Dear Ted:
Did Nikki Reed and Kellan Lutz get married?
—Vamesj

Dear When Rescue Pigs Fly:
I'm not sure who's laughing more at this point, Nikki or Kellan?

Dear Ted:
OK, I get it, Nikki Reed is talented and sexy...uh-oh...but c'mon now, you're saying the bad rep she got is because people are jealous...c'mon...I'm not saying she's a bad person, but she worked hard to get that rep.
—Mary

Dear Logical:
Yeah, of course, Nikki has a part in her own damn rep—but darlin', look at how it gets fueled. I promise you that does not happen with folks who people don't give a crap about. Nikki has something a lotta other actors don't: major talent.

Dear Ted:
I agree with what you've said about Anna Paquin. I was expecting her to be on the cover of People with her declaration. But she said it and did not capitalize on it further. It was refreshing and, I feel, unlike other celebrities who say things because of a product that needs selling.
—Donna

Dear Smart Girl:
Anna is, too, obviously.

Dear Ted:
Not sure if you watch (or have ever watched) Dancing With the Stars, but I'm wondering: Was Shannen Doherty voted off for not being as controversial as trouble-magnet Kate Gosselin? If Shannen had been more of a troublemaker and whiner, would she have stayed? Just wondering because Ms. Gosselin (as well as Buzz Aldrin, though I love him) can't dance at all and Ms. Doherty wasn't all that bad. Your thoughts, please?
—Jana

Dear On Her Toes:
You totally got it, babe—had Shannen sold her personality more (which is admittedly half the stuff the show and the judges are looking for), I do believe she'd still be on. Shame, too, as Doherty's got 10 times more feisty than that wannabe diva Gosselin.

Dear Ted:
So I just sat down to lunch on a cold, rainy Chicago afternoon and I see the headline...Nicollette Sheridan is suing Marc Cherry! The suit claims wrongful termination, assault and gender violence? Really? I see this as a way for the girl to make money as she has no acting career. Thoughts? Comments? Quippy Ted-a-cisms? Can't wait to hear your take on this one.
—Irish

Dear Potato Type:
I see both sides. Sheridan doesn't have much of a career anymore, so of course she's going to do whatever she can to hold onto what she had (and any monies she can get from it). But that set was—and is—full of divas. Nicollette wasn't always acting any different than some of the other chicks and she has to pay the highest price. She probably should have been more covert, like the lot of 'em.

Dear Ted:
You've said Jennifer Aniston is a fun, cool gal, and though I think it's awesome to be a single lady living life to the fullest, why do you think she hasn't settled down? She seems like she would make a wonderful mom, she's gorgeous and everyone seems to love her—so why isn't there a Mr. Aniston?
—Mary

Dear It's Simple:
Because she doesn't want one. Maybe never again after Pitt allowed himself to be stolen away. But I predict Jen's mistreated heart heals one day—just no day soon.

Dear Ted:
Is Cruella St. Shackles Catherine Zeta-Jones? She seems like a diva to me.
—Kimberly

Dear Snit Sniffer:
Great guess, but ain't her. Besides, Mikey likes 'em tough and domineering, so no complaints from him!

Dear Ted:
You say often that despite whoever Miley might be dating now, Nick Jonas will eventually be "back in the picture." I'm just wondering—is it because they're in real, true love? Or just (gasp!) lust, even? Or is it just two kiddies who happen to be so similar they can't help but be together?
—Katie

Dear Crystal Stall:
Darling, it's just fate. Waiting to happen. Everybody knows it but Liam Hemsworth.

________

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