madonna (199 posts)

AP Photo/Tsvangirayi Mukwazhi

Madonna is pulling an Oprah. 

As promised, the 51-year-old superstar returned to Malawi over the weekend to kick off the construction of her newest charitable endeavor, the Raising Malawi Academy for Girls, by shoveling the first ceremonial mound of dirt on the center's site just outside the capital city of Lilongwe.

We knew those rock-hard biceps were being cultivated for good, not evil.

"Growing up in a privileged life, I took education for granted...but coming to Malawi has taught me a lot of things and I have learnt to appreciate what life gives," said Madonna, who was accompanied at the tree-planting launch by all four of her children.

"If this school is a success—and God willing, it will be—we will replicate it not only in Malawi but in other parts of the world as well."

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Ever had an annoying noisy neighbor?

You know the one who plays their music way too loud and rehearses their world tour dance choreography at all hours of the night?

No? Well you must not be fortunate enough to share an adjoining wall with Madonna. The material mama has reportedly transformed her Central Park West apartment into a disruptive studio and upstairs neighbor Karen George is suing mad.

According to the lawsuit against the building board obtained by the New York Post, "Madonna and one or more of her invited guests repeatedly dance and train . . . to unreasonably high-decibel, amplified music, causing noise and vibration to pour through the walls, ceilings and radiators."

The suit, filed Friday in Manhattan, states that the board has already threatened Madge with eviction is her dance sessions do not desist.

A rep for the Queen of Pop has yet to comment on the issue.

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Seems like Madonna is always in the news—don't miss a moment.

Jason Kempin/WireImage.com

• Guy Ritchie is full of backhanded Madonna compliments in the November Esquire. "She's a manifester, if there ever was one," he says. "First-rate manifester. Madonna makes things happen. Put Madonna up against any 23-year-old, she'll outwork them, outdance them, outperform them. The woman is broad." And, of course, "I still love her. But she's retarded, too." That's sweet.

• The official New Moon running time is 2 hours and 2 minutes! Ahhh! Thank shirtless Taylor Lautner!

• Joe and Nick Jonas are planning the worst bachelor party ever for Kevin. "It will be good, clean fun," Nick says. Joe adds "It won't be in Vegas...We are thinking somewhere even cooler and better." Chuck E. Cheese!

• Jon Gosselin says he won't do anymore reality shows. But the way he says it, seems like he's planning something bigger. Noooo!

• Roman Polanski tries to explain himself to Chris Hansen.

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George Clooney has his serious face on in today's Big Pic.

Seriously, Saturday Night Live?

After waiting all night for musical guest Lady Gaga to pop up in some outrageous sketch and poke fun at the headline grabbing Kanye West (it should have been inevitable, right?), SNL decided to insert the pantsless performer into Deep House Dish, a recurring bit that never receives more than a chuckle from viewers—audience members included!

To spice things up, Lady G was joined onstage by none other than surprise superstar, Madonna and unfortunately, herein lies the problem.

The Gaga-Madonna pairup should have been epic and stolen the show from funnyman host Ryan Reynolds, but the duo simply paraded around the stage looking uncharacteristically hot in some bondage-esque get ups and engaged in a fake "who's the true Queen on Pop" smackdown. Spoiler alert? Neither of them won and they ended up using the old "Madonna kisses a girl" go-to.

Our fix? Madonna and Lady Gaga perform one of their musical superhits together, and somewhere in the mix Kanye get mocked. Just a little bit.

The hands down highlight of the show was Scarlett Johansson joining her hubby onstage—and not just because these two are rarely seen together. ScarJo revived her 2007 SNL viral video sensation as the Jersey girl in her dad's infomercials. And this time she's selling porcelain fountains.

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Unless Madonna recently survived some major tragedy we don't know about, she won't be marrying boytoy Jesus Luz—or anyone else, for that matter—anytime soon.

"I think I'd rather get run over by a train," she confessed to David Letterman on The Late Show last night when he asked if she'd ever walk down the aisle again.

The appearance was not without other dramatic highlights, including Madge's entrance to the theater that involved her being carried by half the New York Rangers hockey team. And then, of course, she playfully admits that this was her first time riding hockey players.

She also fesses up to never having tasted New York style pizza, so he takes her down the street for a slice.

But she doesn't eat cheese, so her slice was topped with basil and olives, which sounds delicious, but kind of defeats the purpose.

Kind of like Dave bringing up A-Rod but doing all the talking. We're just sayin'.

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You can see the pop queen noshing on her pizza pie in the Big Picture gallery!