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Kristen Stewart may cook a mean spam, but you don't want to taste her phish.

Internet scammers are taking advantage of Twilight fans and the rise of New Moon with an increased number of viruses, spywear and phishing schemes.

Especially be wary of the "vampire byte" that'll suck out your financial information and install malware on your computer faster than the Volturi can find your carotid.

So how do fanggirls avoid falling prey?

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Summit Entertainment

Is the pope (a) Team Edward, (b) Team Jacob or (c) none of the above?

Take a wild guess.

To the surprise of no one, it turns out the folks who hated J.K. Rowling and Dan Brown aren't into the Stephenie Meyer cinematic canon, either.

"This film is nothing more than a moral vacuum with a deviant message and as such should be of concern," warns the Vatican's culture council leader, Monsignor Franco Perazzolo, in a statement timed to the release of New Moon.

"This theme of vampires in Twilight combines a mixture of excesses that, as ever, is aimed at young people and gives a heavy esoteric element," he continues.

We're guessing that's one blurb we won't be seeing in the newspaper ads.

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New Moon rises today. How pumped are you?!

Nat Jag/Getty Images

Let's set the scene, shall we?

You are a college freshman at New York University. Your dorm room windows overlook the big, beautiful balconies attached to the fancy apartment building next door. You often glare at them longingly, trying to remember life before you shared a tiny closet with a total stranger.

One day, you hear Jude Law is coming to New York to do Hamlet on Broadway. Low and behold, soon after, you spot him doing yoga on one of those very balconies. You think he's dreamy, so you watch regularly.

That is, until he spots you. Gasp!

Law does what any man who has yet to meet his illegitimate new baby would do. He throws oranges at your windows.

True story. Well, at least according to the NYU kids and the New York Post.

Of course, these students admit they were shouting at him, waving and snapping photos, but tossing produce isn't exactly neighborly.

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Keep track of Jude and his baby mama drama right here.

Jim Smeal/Getty Images; Louise Barnsley, Max Butterworth, PacificCoastNews.com

When little Chastity Bono wished television audiences a good night and God bless more than 30 years ago, who knew she'd look so dapper in a suit?

Now Chaz Bono, the daughter son of Cher and Sonny Bono gave his first live interview since beginning the process of becoming a man eight months ago. Some of his thoughts were downright enlightening.

"To me, gender is between your ears, not between your legs," he tells Chris Cuomo on Good Morning America. "I've felt male as far back as I can remember. As a child, it was really clear. I felt like a boy."

He goes on to explain why being a lesbian is just the "simple answer" for him.

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It may not be swine flu, but, whatever other nastiness is going around, Nicole Richie has it bad.

The starlet checked herself into the hospital with a major case of the sickies.

"Nicole has checked herself into Cedars-Sinai where she is being treated for pneumonia," her rep tells E! News in a statement. "She is doing well."

The 28-year-old mom of Sparrow and Harlow hasn't been at her best for quite some time now. Last week, she was too ill to attend her own bash feting the launch of her House of Harlow jewelry line at Bebe. By Sunday, she was clearly over spending time in bed.

"OK cold, it's been 6 days. Lets part ways graciously & keep it moving," she Twittered.

On Monday, her lawyer announced she wasn't feeling well right before she coughed her way through testimony against a pair of photographers.

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Keep track of celebrity ailments right here.

Vampires and werewolves aren't for everyone (yeah, right!). Just ask Miley Cyrus.

She thinks Twilight is bad news!

"I've never seen it and nor will I ever," she tells Ohio's Q92-FM backstage at a concert. "It's a cult. I don't believe in it."

And she wishes you all would choose between Team Miley and Team Hannah Montana rather than worry about Team Edward and Team Jacob. Or at least buy more of her T-shirts.

"I don't believe in it. I don't like vampires. I don't like any of the stuff. I don't like the wolf that pops out of the screen when I'm watching my TV at night. I don't like it. I don't want anything to do with it. I don't like the shirts. I don't like any of it."

Like, she's, like, really anti-New Moon and the gang. Like, really.

"And like, it's just, I feel it's like seriously it's like people get like really into it, And maybe it's 'cause I'm like people always like fall in love with the characters, I don't know. It makes me not like, I don't know. I'm not into it," she says.

"But I feel really lame cause everyone's like so excited and I'm like not gonna talk about it."

You said it. We didn't.

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Turn your head if you want, Miley, but here's New Moon Rising!

Fame Pictures

Hugh Jackman, it's time to pass the baton.

Johnny Depp has been named People's 2009 Sexiest Man Alive.

He joins Brad Pitt and George Clooney as only the third to earn this prestigious title for a second time-the erstwhile Captain Jack Sparrow won in 2003 as well.

Too bad most guessers in the Twitterverse were completely off-track. The magazine offered clues over the past few days, promising the man on the stands would have roots in a foreign country, has proposed at least once and was taller than Ryan Seacrest. All signs pointed to Robert Pattinson or Ryan Reynolds.

But the magazine tends to choose an older, more established star, and the 46-year-old definitely still definintely has it goin' on.

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Not enough hotness for you this morning? Here's 10 Guys We Crave.

twitter.com/RachelleLefevre/status/5787052240

Didn't the gang look lovely together at the New Moon premiere last night?

Too bad they weren't all there. Rachelle Lefevre was MIA.

But actress, who played Victoria in both Twilight and New Moon but was famously dismissed for Eclipse, wasn't a no-show just because of sour grapes. It turns out last night was sour for her for completely separate reasons.

"2 fans at the premiere: w/ Honey in hospital & being fired from Eclipse tonight was just 2 emotional 4 me & I couldn't manage it. So sorry," she Twittered last night.

Honey is a dog she adopted from an animal rescue, and who recently inspired her to become the spokeswoman for Best Friends' Puppies Aren't Products campaign.

Honey's health—and Rachelle's ability to attend the premiere—weren't looking promising earlier yesterday, when she tweeted, "Honey is in the hospital and I don't know what's going to happen. I wonder if you can die from a broken heart..."

We wish the honey and her Honey the very best.

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See some other stars and their fine furry friends in our Very Important Pets gallery!

Ken Ober, who hosted MTV's pop-culture-centric game show, Remote Control, for five seasons beginning in 1987, was found dead in his home on Sunday, the network reports. The 52-year-old's cause of death has yet to be determined.

Ober began his career on Star Search but spent recent years behind the scenes, working in production on comedies like The New Adventures of Old Christine and Mind of Mencia.

"Kenny Ober was and always will be the quickest wit in the room," fellow funnyman Denis Leary tells MTV News. "He was fall-down funny from the moment he was born—a smart, fast and hilarious human being who made many of us, including myself, laugh until we cried. As the star and host of Remote Control, he was a welcoming ringmaster who helped to kickstart the careers of numerous talents, including Adam Sandler, Colin Quinn and myself. He will be remembered always by each of his friends not only for his massive talent but for his true, deep and enduring friendship."

"Ken Ober was one of the sharpest, quickest, sweetest guys I ever met," Sandler told the network. "He was always a great friend and I will miss him very much."

Lee Kernis, the star's manager, said that Ober complained to a friend of a headache and flu-like symptoms on Saturday.

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E! Online eulogizes other late celebs right here.

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Levi Johnston must be more bashful than we thought.

After all the hype, the father to Sarah Palin's grandson won't be giving Playgirl the full monty. What a tease!

"[Levi] did not give 'full frontal' as his manager Tank [Jones] reported he would," Daniel Nardicio, a spokesman for Playgirl, told the New York Daily News.

However, the rep does promise minor peeks at Bristol Palin's ex's goodies and that the overall, ahem, package is sure to please.

"We're thrilled with the photos we got, and are confident people will love them, but although there may be glimpses, we did not get full on frontal nudity."

So much for that "aspiring porn" career! Sounds like there may be one less thing to talk about at the Palin family Thanksgiving dinner table.

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There was no nudity (or even a moon) on the New Moon red carpet, but everyone looked hot nonetheless.

Kimberley French/Summit Entertainment

Something tells us you already know all too well that the New Moon premiere is tonight. That's not news.

But what you don't know is how its stars are spending their day preparing for the big event.

They're on Twitter, of course!

"Many people wonder what celebs do the morning of their movie premiere," Peter Facinelli writes. "I would like know 2, seeing how I'm at the DMV renewing my license."

Once he was ready to drive, he cruised by the scene of the big red-carpet event.

"Drove past the Westwood theatre on my motorcycle to wave hi to the fans on the way home from DMV. You guys are awesome," he gushes.

Anna Kendrick and Jackson Rathbone are playing a bit more coy with their anticipation, Rachelle Lefevre sounds like she may have other plans and wait 'til you hear what other lucky ducks scored seats to the big show.

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