ABC; ABC/Donna Svennevik

Something feels wrong in our bones.

At first we thought the vague, nagging feeling was caused by that thing that we lifted that we shouldn't have lifted. Then we realized, no, it's Oprah Winfrey. She's the problem.

She's holding out on us. Has to be. What savvy businesswoman would up and quit a money-making operation?

Unless...

Unless the savvy businesswoman stumbled onto a potentially bigger money-making operation. With a potentially bigger star than her own Oprah self.

Would we dare suggest Oprah's departure from Oprah has nothing to do with literary metaphors (closing a chapter, writing a new story, blah blah blah), and everything to do with none other than Sarah Palin? Oh, yes, we would.

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Too tired to move after inhaling your Thanksgiving dinner? Just watch Beyoncé burn some calories instead.

We wouldn't exactly call it different—or even "a little different"—but the diva's Turkey Day concert special, Beyonce: I Am…Yours promises to be a whole lot of fun.

While the one-hour ABC event mainly consists of footage from Beyoncé's ongoing "I Am" Tour, in particular her show at the Wynn Las Vegas, fans will also be privy to some behind-the-scenes action, including rehearsals, the artist otherwise known as Sasha Fierce kidding around with her crew backstage, and home video of the 28-year-old hitmaker preening for the camera when she was merely destiny's child.

So it's funny that the night's second act features a fellow who was riling all the single ladies into a frenzy long before Beyoncé ever sang into a hairbrush microphone...

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After Dancing With the Stars' big finale last night, it was time for everyone to kick off their ballroom shoes, slip into something way more comfortable and party as if they had all just won a tacky disco ball trophy. Everyone, that is, except for the man who actually just won a tacky disco ball trophy.

Yep. Champ Donny Osmond was not able to attend the festivities at Boulevard 3 in Hollywood, as he and his fellow finalists, Mya and Kelly Osbourne, reportedly had to hop on flights to NYC to make the required talk-show rounds.

So, while duty called for those three, the rest of Season Nine's participants happily took over the spotlight, with some telling us who they'd like to see strut their stuff during the next go-round…

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Should Donny meet Marie at Thanksgiving tomorrow, the Osmond brother best go easy on the Osmond sister with the Dancing With the Stars trash talk.

See, while Donny owns Marie when it comes to DWTS wins (one versus zip), Marie owns Donny—big-time—when it comes to DWTS ratings.

Last night's Donny-crowning finale fell more than 5 million viewers shy of the nearly 25 million who tuned in the fall 2007 closer, featuring Marie, preliminary Nielsen estimates showed.

But before Marie breaks into a flag-drawing touchdown dance, it should be said that against 2009 competition, Donny's show did just great, averaging a season-high 19.2 million.

Oh, and also, he won the mirror ball, and Marie didn't.

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John Mayer may be the serial dater Twitter king artist you love to hate, but you also apparently love to buy.

As if his ego needed another boost, Mayer's Battle Studies has debuted atop the Billboard album chart, selling a solid 286,000 copies—none of which, we're guessing, were purchased by people named Jennifer, Minka or Jessica.

"Battle Studies is officially the number 1 album in the US!" a surprisingly humble Mayer tweeted. "Thank you from the bottom of my heart!! What a way to spend Thanksgiving."

And most of the days after it. For the Mayer-weary, now may be a good time to turn off your televisions, as he has only just begun the fight to saturate your screens.

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Usually when Sandra Bullock gets a makeover, it's to become a beauty queen or some sassy Southern mom saving lives. But on Lopez Tonight, George Lopez transformed America's Sweetheart into a chola, which is kinda weird, we know. Now we gotta watch more often. Does he do this to all his guests?

Naturally, Sandy B. rocked the Sharpie brows and lip liner because, lets face it, she can do anything.

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Yes, but what do these famous people look like with no cosmetics? Find out in our Who's Cuter Without Makeup? gallery. 

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Sorry, Kirstie Alley. It seems the Free Roman Polanski Brigade has won out. Or has it?

A Swiss court today accepted the Oscar-winning filmmaker's $4.5 million cash bail deal that would allow him to leave a Zurich jail for house arrest and electronic monitoring at his Swiss Chalet.

Naturally, Swiss authorities aren't so keen on the idea of letting their prize catch go, given his history of running from the law. Two previous requests by his attorneys were rejected outright.

This time, however, the price was right. But the 72-year-old won't be getting his Thanksgiving yet. The Justice Ministry says it will continue to keep The Pianist director in lock-up until deciding whether to appeal the bail decision to Switzerland's highest court—officials have 10 days to decide whether to challenge his release.

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Read what Kirstie Alley has to say about Roman Polanski (and this reporter) here.