Jennifer Lopez's newest single, "Louboutins," has conveniently been leaked on the Internet just days before she's scheduled to perform it on this Sunday's American Music Awards—perhaps in an attempt to give viewers at home ample warning?

The song finds J.Lo expressing frustration over a lover who clearly isn't giving 100 percent of himself to the relationship. Why, then, is she taking it out on us? 

Case in point: The chorus contains nothing more than the line "I'm throwing on my Louboutins," repeated not once, not twice, but eight times. Multiply that by the number of times the chorus is recited (four) and we get 32 reminders of the particular brand of designer footwear Jenny from the Block is going to use to walk out on her man.

The track begins with the singer insisting, "I'm taking back my love." Personally, we wish we could take back the last three minutes and 49 seconds.

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When Miley Cyrus' infamous slant-eyed photo leaked online, we knew there was going to be trouble. When a Los Angeles woman filed a class-action suit against the Disney star on behalf of her Asian brothers and sisters, we knew it was going to be a lengthy battle. But when it turned out she was seeking roughly $4 billion—yes, billion—in damages from the teen, we knew what outcome was inevitable.

In a win for common sense everywhere, an L.A. judge today threw out Lucie Kim's lawsuit, saying that while the photo may have been offensive, it didn't break any state laws.

Especially not the one Kim claimed it did.

In her complaint, Kim accused Cyrus of violating a statute that prohibits businesses from discriminating against minorities, specifically in terms of offering equal access to public accommodations.

And while Miley's clearly a budding empire, she's not, strictly speaking, a business. Or, so far as we know, offering shelter.

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What else is there to say about New Moon that hasn't already been gushed? That the sequel to you-know-what starring you-know-who and -who and -who, grossed a record-setting, undead-enlivening, "absolutely freakish" $26.3 million in Friday midnight screenings?

Well, there's that.

Yes, New Moon usurped the midnight crown from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince ($22.2 million), which ousted The Dark Knight ($18.5 million) this past July. Nudge the person in the theater next to you, and pass it on.

How do we know you're reading this on a hand-held at a multiplex? Because chances are you are.

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Not paying your taxes for five years? Understandable. Going to prison for three years as a result? Totally unreasonable. At least according to Wesley Snipes' crack (but not that crack) defense team.

Attorneys for the Uncle Sam-dodging Blade star have filed an appeal against the actor's would-be imprisonment, calling the sentence "unreasonable" and claiming that his tax-evasion trial—which came to a close last February after Snipes was convicted on three misdemeanor counts of failing to file a return—should have taken place in New York and not Florida.

Nevermind that the 47-year-old actor's housing records showed that he lived in both states or that his legal team had ample time prior to the years-in-the-making trial to seek the location swap.

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Oprah Winfrey says it's the "exact right time" to say goodbye.

In a Very Special live episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show airing today, Winfrey confirmed plans to pull the plug on her namesake program on Sept. 9, 2011.

"I love this show. This show has been my life. And I love it enough to know when it's time to say goodbye," a tearful Winfrey told her studio audience.

"Twenty-five years feels right in my bones and it feels right in my spirit. It's the perfect number—the exact right time. So I hope that you will take this 18-month ride with me right through to the final show."

Her decision, she said, came after "prayer and careful thought."

So farewell to the couch-jumping, car-giving, celeb-confessing, book clubbing, weight-monitoring, housewife-inspiring hijinks that earned her a bucketload of Emmys and loyal audience of some 42 million viewers each week.

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Just because this Laguna Beach alum (and current Hills drama queen) is being honored with a Comeback of the Year award doesn't mean she has to try to resurrect Madonna's cone bra. And the 3.1 Phillip Lim zippers? Done and done. And done.

Find out who the culprit is in mystyle's Fashion DUI gallery!

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A blast from Britney Spears' past is going away for awhile.

Adnan Ghalib, the paparazzo who dated Spears at the height of her public meltdown two years ago, has been sentenced to 45 days in the slammer today stemming from a hit-and-run incident.

The 37-year-old shutterbug agreed to a plea deal to avoid deportation for running over a process server trying to deliver a restraining order on behalf of Spears' conservatorship. He ultimately wound up being permanently barred from further contact with the "Toxic" songbird.

Ghalib was immediately taken from the courtroom today to begin his jail time. After he gets out, he still must do 45 days of roadside trash pickup and 52 weeks of anger-management classes, as well as pay various fines and fees. And then he still has to deal with a civil suit from the run-in.

To paraphrase his former squeeze: oops!

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Adnan's not the only one facing legal problems. Check out E! Online's Court Appearances photo gallery.

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One person is dead and several more suffered minor injuries after Miley Cyrus' tour bus crashed and flipped onto its side in Virginia this morning.

Cyrus herself was not on board the bus at the time—she was instead recovering from channeling Pretty Woman-era Julia Roberts. But, according to media reports, the vehicle involved was the Disney star's usual mode of transportation between shows.

The driver of the bus, whose identity has not been released, is the sole known casualty.

The crash took place around 8:15 a.m. in the town of Dinwiddie, roughly 40 miles south of Richmond. While the cause of the fatal accident is not yet known, Virginia State Police confirm that the roads were wet at the time.

The bus was likely en route to  Greensboro, N.C., where Cyrus' next concert is scheduled to take place Sunday night.

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This news is tragic. Cheer yourself up by looking at some pretty, pretty vampires.

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Is the pope (a) Team Edward, (b) Team Jacob or (c) none of the above?

Take a wild guess.

To the surprise of no one, it turns out the folks who hated J.K. Rowling and Dan Brown aren't into the Stephenie Meyer cinematic canon, either.

"This film is nothing more than a moral vacuum with a deviant message and as such should be of concern," warns the Vatican's culture council leader, Monsignor Franco Perazzolo, in a statement timed to the release of New Moon.

"This theme of vampires in Twilight combines a mixture of excesses that, as ever, is aimed at young people and gives a heavy esoteric element," he continues.

We're guessing that's one blurb we won't be seeing in the newspaper ads.

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New Moon rises today. How pumped are you?!

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It is time to get off Carrie Prejean's back about her chest. The woman is correct. The Bible absolutely, positively does not say, "You shouldn't get breast implants." In those exact words.

We have reached this conclusion after seeking counsel and revving up the search engine at BibleGateway.com.

We are sorry we didn't take Prejean's word from the get-go. It just sounded like a rationalization from a beauty queen turned inspirational memoirist. But a little bit of faith would've saved us time, not to mention the embarrassment of having to ask students of the Bible for their thoughts on—how should we say?—pageant helpers.

Our findings—and, yes, our defense of Ms. Prejean—are as follows: 

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Let's set the scene, shall we?

You are a college freshman at New York University. Your dorm room windows overlook the big, beautiful balconies attached to the fancy apartment building next door. You often glare at them longingly, trying to remember life before you shared a tiny closet with a total stranger.

One day, you hear Jude Law is coming to New York to do Hamlet on Broadway. Low and behold, soon after, you spot him doing yoga on one of those very balconies. You think he's dreamy, so you watch regularly.

That is, until he spots you. Gasp!

Law does what any man who has yet to meet his illegitimate new baby would do. He throws oranges at your windows.

True story. Well, at least according to the NYU kids and the New York Post.

Of course, these students admit they were shouting at him, waving and snapping photos, but tossing produce isn't exactly neighborly.

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Keep track of Jude and his baby mama drama right here.