It was ladies' week in Hollywood (and related environs) as real stars like Rihanna and Mariah Carey opened up on TV about serious, emotional issues; celebish types like Kate Gosselin rehashed stories we already know, but with more tears; and nonentity (in Hollywood and related environs) Nicole Forrester talked about having a one-night stand with Fergie's man.
Hey, to each her own.
Read on for your complete week in review...
1. With her new album due in a couple of weeks, it was Rihanna's turn to tell her side of the Chris Brown story. Her interview with ABC's resident scandal-harnesser Diane Sawyer inevitably became a heartfelt tutorial on the terrifying realities of being in an abusive relationship and what it does to an abuse victim's psyche. Touching, real and, at times, hard to listen to, because it actually makes you think about what you would do in that situation. Stay strong, Rihanna. (Mariah Carey also opened up about emotional abuse to Larry King.)
2. Kate Gosselin got her own 60 Minutes-style hour to pour her heart out on TLC in anticipation of the end of Jon & Kate Plus 8 (and, probably, Kate Plus 8, now that Jon has put his foot down). We know what we would do in her situation—go away. Meanwhile, TLC is ramping up its lawsuit against the still apologetic J.Goss, leaving no suspicious character unturned.
3. It's he-said, she-said-louder as Josh Duhamel's vehement denials of an affair with an Atlanta stripper only provoked Nicole Forrester into sharing her version of events—"we had lots of sex, and we had a really, really good time"—on the radio. On the other hand, Fergie calls it nonsense, and she's the one who's gotta feeling for these things.
4. It doesn't matter how few tabloid headlines you make most of the time, or how well you did on Celebrity Apprentice. When your porn-star baby mama comes looking for custody, people sit up and take notice, as they did when Jesse James' ex, Janine Lindemulder, accused Sandra Bullock of trying to "take away her daughter."
5. Where in the world is the cast of New Moon? The highly anticipated (seems too weak a word, really) Twilight sequel's dreamy stars made stops in Mexico, Japan and L.A. as the publicity train picked up speed en route to its final destination—theaters everywhere, Nov. 20. And Kristen Stewart has been more inclined to spill—profanity, that is—with every stop along the way.
6. Well, look who's got a sex tape that's too dirty for TheDirty.com! It's none other than ex-Miss California USA Carrie Prejean. In related news, she and the pageant organization abruptly settled their legal differences. Hmmm...
7. Cops found a lot of loot—not to mention guns and drugs—when they searched the homes of the suspected members of the Hollywood burglary ring that paid visits to the homes of Paris, Lindsay, Orlando, et al. With the heat turned up, it appears that the six guys and gals in custody—one of whom is being held on weapon and drug charges, not burglary—are starting to sing.
8. William Shatner did a hilarious dramatic reading of Playgirl superstar Levi Johnston's tweets on The Tonight Show—or did he? Turns out Conan's crew didn't figure out that Bristol's baby daddy doesn't have a Twitter account, forcing them to duly apologize the following night for their mistake. If by apologizing you mean dramatizing Levi's profound sound bites, of course.
9. E!'s friendly neighborhood invader pleaded not guilty to stalking Ryan Seacrest.
10. Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin will cohost the Oscars!...Heidi Klum will host the upcoming Victoria's Secret fashion show...Mel Gibson is a dad for the eighth time...Preview Tori Amos' Midwinter Graces...Get yer hot casting news...Adrian Pasdar is getting killed off on Heroes for the last time...The Colbert Report got in on the Olympics...Joe Jackson wants in on Michael's money...Remember how La Toya was going to be in Brüno?...The Jackson brothers are still going to be on A&E...Usher's officially single...Reggie Bush and boxer Kim Kardashian may be ready to move in together...But first, Kim's gonna fancy up CSI: NY...Law & Order's gonna do Dave...Get well soon, Blanche...Randy & Evi Quaid are payers, not shower-uppers...Morgan Freeman hung up his negligence suit...Verne Troyer's ex is scared of him...Gwen Stefani isn't the pixelated cross-dressing type...The Gossip Girl threesome came under premature fire...Lindsay Lohan would appreciate it if her "loser" dad and his year-old voice mail recordings would get a life.
(Originally published Nov. 7, 2009, at 8 a.m. PT)
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So many pictures...and it's the weekend, so you've got time!