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True Blood Redux: Raise Your Hand If You're Having Sex Dreams About Eric

Alexander Skarsgard HBO/John P. Johnson

Welcome back to Bon Temps, TV fans! This week, we fans of True Blood are arming ourselves with flame throwers, grenades and advice from the Queen in anticipation of the climactic final battle with maenad Maryann. She's marshaling her troops and we're marshaling ours, but there's no telling yet who will have the upper hand in the end.

If you've haven't watched yet, sit down with your Snickers-and-Tabasco casserole and spin up that DVR! But if you have seen tonight's installment of True Blood and you're ready to talk, fly on here.

What We Learned

Good Night, Tiny Humans: Best part of the episode? Eric and Pam’s reactions to Arlene’s children—Pam thought they smelled funny, but Eric thought they were kinda cute, calling them "teacup humans" and gleefully showing off his fangs upon request. Truth be told, Eric being nice to small children was swoonworthy and we do not mind one bit that Alan Ball toyed with our hormones like that. In fact, we’d like some more, please. P.S. Eric can fly?! What the heck?

Don't Go to the Dark Side: In other news, Sookie and Lafayette revealed to each other that sucking Eric's blood had turned them into saucer-eyed freaks of a sort. Both admitted to being subconsciously sexually obsessed with the Viking vamp, and Lafayette even seems to be contemplating a crossover into the world of the undead. Count on that being a continuing storyline for all parties involved.

Oh Those Wacky Vampers! Love that 2,000-year-old Sophie looks and sounds indistinguishable from a Valley girl, and that she is significantly less insane than the other ancient vampires we’ve met lately. (Godric, we’re looking at you.) What did you think of her Yahtzee fetish? Adorable or annoying? The sun room was unquestionably fabulous, and the foodie-style appreciation for free-range, organic human was a nice touch. Do you trust her advice on maenads? Will you be happy if she sticks around for a while?

Unacceptable: Now, Jessica should not have tried to eat Hoyt’s mother, and she deserved a scolding, but did Hoyt really have to leave her? Those two crazy kids belong together! Of course, part of why we love Hoyt is that he’s so patient with his bitch-ass mother, but honestly, if we have to choose, we choose Jessica!

Blech: For the umpteenth week in a row, this Maryann stuff is just plain disgusting. The woman cutting off her finger? Yuck. And as we learned at the very end of the episode, that bitch got her claws into Lafayette! That’s not OK, and indeed, the blame for that falls on Tara, who just had to run off like an idiot to save Eggs. Here’s to Jason, Sam, Andy and vampire Bill saving the day from that nut, who has believed herself immortal and who dabbles in bestiality and cannibalism. Ugh.

What’s To Come

Next week is a bye week—sorry, guys. There’s no new True Blood next Sunday (all the regular Sunday HBO shows are clearing out of the Labor Day weekend), but when the show returns the following week, everything comes to a head in the season finale. We’ll find out if the boys are capable of taking out Maryann and liberating Bon Temps (signs point to yes), and we’ll get our first real hints about what’s to come in season three...

What did you like and loathe about tonight's ep of True Blood? Post in the comments!

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Check out Eric, Bill and many other toothy types in our gallery of favorite TV vampires!

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