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Bethenny Frankel Blogs About The Real Housewives of Atlanta Premiere: Party Planning "Sher-ade"
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Welcome to Real Housewife of New York City Bethenny Frankel's exclusive blog about The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Bethenny is blogging for E! Online every week, dishing about the craziness that goes down on the new season. Here's her first Atlanta installment, for last night's season premiere.
Take it away, Bethenny...
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I am so excited. Atlanta is by far my favorite Housewife outlet (including my own). It is so decadent, so juicy, such a ripe, sweet Georgia peach, and as is always the case with peach season, I never want it to end.
As if last week's "You a hooker" and "Close your legs to married men" wasn't enough, this first episode was fan-friggin'-fabulous.
I will do the obligatory synopsis of the season opener of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, but the only thing I want to discuss is Sheree.
Suffice it to say that divorce has spiced that girl up; she should rename her fashion line Free by Sheree. I digress. Let me roll through all of this week's side dishes so I can get to the main dish.
I like the new girl Kandi. She's cute and sweet and entertaining. I'm sure the contrast between her voice and Kim's will be wildly entertaining. She and Lisa have the gift of being entertaining while being nice. I envy that. I simply cannot help my smack mouth and snarkiness, so nice is something I admire.
As for Kim, I can't help but love when she's on the screen. What's up with that off-the-rails, horrendous wig? We know people have been trying to rip it off. She could make hundreds of thousands if pay-per-view would just unveil what lurks beneath that multicolored, cotton-candy mess of a wig. I can't wait to see her wig line, but she will make more money if she sells mainly to drag queens. (That wasn't meant to be sarcastic—just a better marketing strategy). Kim is a caricature, and I looove it!
Nene's line, "I love a good crawl" was hilarious. I liked her gay husband Dwight a lot more this go-around, and I completely agree in having live plants or no plants. Fake plants are bad feng shui. The more life breathing into your home, the better.
So Nene and Sheree are the new BFFs, and everyone seems to hate Kim. Let's see how many twists and turns go down here.
Lisa and Ed are cute and sexy, and they don't push it over the line. Love them. But all of this was unnecessary foreplay because nothing needs to be discussed except the main event: Sheree's party planning scene. Our girl went straight Compton, and in my whole life, I don't think I've ever been more entertained by a single scene on television.
The first scene was absurd enough with talk of helicopters and Cleopatra and Sheree needing to ensure that she is the center of attention. As I said last season, her clothing line should be called should be "Me by Sheree" instead of "She by Sheree."
Was anything better than the final party planning scene? I love how Sheree says (with a straight face), "I didn't get any messages from either you or a poet!"
Anthony had the most professionally looking attire, and he let us know that he is a top-level executive. Then the wheels fell off—you could just feel that something was about to explode.
My man tried to be so articulate in the beginning, and he worked his way up to gangsta. Not only did he not get the helicopter. He was a helicopter! I loved how he would occasionally look at the camera as if it wouldn't catch all of this.
You really need to rewind it because there are so many fantastic nuggets in this scene. I definitely laughed so hard I cried, and I mean windshield wiper Snoopy tears. OK, a few examples: "Who gon' check me boo?" Or "I eat bitches like you every day." Did he throw "yo mamma is a bitch?!" Did anyone else just die when his coworkers subtly closed the office door as if they had begun speaking just above a whisper.
When she stood up, still in sunglasses, after her Cleveland explanation, her face literally looked distorted. It was fantastic. She went full hood on his ass, and I dropped dead. This was a meeting with a party planner!
This makes my Kell-amity scene look like a schoolyard dustup. And by the way, who are "pooky and them" who are gonna come over there and "whoop yo ass?"
I died. I'm dead. I'm 10 feet under. Done.
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Bethenny Frankel is the inventor of the Skinnygirl Margarita and author of the New York Times best-seller Naturally Thin. The Skinnygirl Margarita is available in stores nationwide or at www.SkinnygirlCocktails.com. For more, please visit www.bethenny.com and follow Bethenny on Twitter: twitter.com/bethenny.
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