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All was quiet on the Gosselin front—for a few days, anyway—but not anymore. And you have Kate Major to thank.

The tabloid reporter turned comically contracted personal assistant/romantic interest of Jon Gosselin is ready to launch a battle royale against the reality douche dad.

"One day this nightmare will hopefully end," she tweeted today. "If he would have told the TRUTH we wouldnt be in this position…."

You don't have to strain too hard to figure out the "he" to whom she's referring.

Major has already lawyered up in advance of a potential lawsuit, which, per RadarOnline, will include claims of breach-of-contract, fraud and loss of wages.

She claims that Gosselin apparently failed to make good on the hand-scrawled, half-baked terms of their contract, which promised Major a salary commensurate to her Star paycheck and "a percentage of accounts for payment based upon involvement."

Hey, Jon, ever feel like your best just isn't good enough?

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Ever wonder why Jon just can't keep his mouth shut? You're in luck, cause so did Answer Bitch and she somehow got to the bottom of his bottomless trap.

Twitter

Has Britney Spears gone to the dark side?

Early this morning, she papered her Twitter account with dark and twisty images of the Illuminati and wrote a pair of rather anti-Jesus Christ messages.

"I give myself to Lucifer every day for it to arrive as quickly as possible. Glory to Satan!" she writes. "I hope that the new world order will arrive as soon as possible! –Britney."

Obviously, the "Toxic" purveyor's account fell into the hands of yet another hacker.

In less than an hour, the creepy background gave way to promotional images of the star and the red was removed from her thumbnail. A while later, another, less suggestive message was posted.

"Britney's twitter account was just hacked," it read. "The situation has been resolved and we apologize for any offense the hacker's messages caused."

At least the hacker didn't try to leave her for dead this time.

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We knew it!

When those photos of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart holding hands hit the Internet last night, we did a little victory dance. Seriously, it was about time.

We're not the only ones who felt that way. Costar Peter Facinelli was quick on the draw to Twitter his reaction.

No, he didn't exactly share in our glory, nor did he congratulate them or wish them luck and future happiness. Nope. He made a joke, and a good one at that.

"Co-stars caught holding hands," he writes next to a linked image. "Guess this picture proves everything."

The photo, however, isn't the one of #Robsten. It's of #Pellan—himself plus Kellan Lutz—walking hand-in-hand through an airport. It's almost as romantic as that pre-plane snuggle.

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Get so much more on our comprehensive Vampire Party page!

Todd Williamson / Getty Images; Bruce Gifford/Getty Images

We learned in nursery schools that name-calling isn't nice, but some people never learn.

This morning, while Shanna Moakler was on The Wendy Williams Show to promote an eponymous makeup line and announce that she was returning to her post as coexecutive director of the Miss California pageant, she took a jab at one of E!'s own.

She called Khloé Kardashian Odom a "donkey."

Needless to say, Khloé was less than pleased. While her pal, Jonathan Cheban, launched a Twitter attack, the reality star kept up with a bit more of a passive-aggressive reaction.

"Who is shana moakler???" she tweeted. " I have no idea who this girl is but I guess she is talking about me. Talk on honey...I can care less LOL."

Of course, it's fairly safe to say the new Mrs. Odom has heard of the old Mrs. Travis Barker. She called Kim by the very same name more than a year ago.

Wisely, Shanna has since backtracked, taking to her own Twitter account to do exactly what her nursery school teacher would require of her—to say she's sorry.

"@KhloeKardashian, you are right," she wrote. "We don't know each other personally and I apologize for my comment this morning."

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Shat happens.

Most recently, on Wednesday night, when William Shatner gifted the viral video gods with yet another dramatic interpretation of awe-inspiring tweets, this time seemingly from the mind and keyboard of pro leg-spreader Levi Johnston.

Only they weren't.

"We'd been following Levi on Twitter and felt his gift for the written word needed to be shared with the world," Conan O'Brien explained. "Today I wake up, very late, I sleep in, and I got some shocking news: Apparently the tweets that we read are counterfeit. They were written by a clever imposter posing as the witty Levi Johnston.

"And the real Levi is angry with us now."

So what better way to redress the balance than by inviting the beat poet extraordinaire back out to the stage to reinterpret some bonafide Johnston sound bites.

"The first thing Sarah said to me at the hotel was, you gotta cut your hair," the Shatman recited. "I told her, I didn't want to. I had a mullet at the time.

"Guess what? I shot a big ass bear," he went on. "I just get naked, that's what I do."

On second thought, he might have been better off laying claim to the counterfeit quotes.

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Want more funny videos? Check out the offerings from resident funnylady Chelsea Handler!

Last night was Kate Gosselin's turn to speak and pause for dramatic effect get choked up. And, because there's no way she could have the last word for more than a few hours, now it's Jon Gosselin's turn.

This time the word is "lieing." It reminds us of the time he misspelled his own name on a huge sign threatening some sort of "penelty" to trespassers at his home.

Of course, he takes a break from his current apology tour and starts today with a Twitter update that appears innocent enough. However, thanks to an extended tweet program, looks can be deceiving.

"Got up early this morning took Mady and Cara to the bus, Came home to then hug my other 6 little morsels," he begins. That's almost all you can see in the basic version but, if you dare click that ellipses-like link, you've got some of Papa G's patented spell check-defying bitterness in store. He takes on ex-GF Hailey Glassman and then lays into Kate.

Prepare for the sweet to get increasingly salty.

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Jessica Simpson finally got around to tweeting about Melrose Place firing her sister, Ashlee, and she is none too happy with the writing staff. In fact, Jess thinks the show is worse than any of her straight-to-DVD movies like Major Movie Star and Blonde Ambition.

Last night she tweeted: "CW catching up on MP.who writes this crap?i have had bad scripts to work with,but this?thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press...Watch til Jan.. :)"

Wow. So Jessica believes that Melrose Place only got press because of Ashlee's amazing acting? That's not entirely accurate. While it's true that Ashlee was the most buzzed-about castmember and did most of the press leading up to the soap's premiere, it's the "amazing" part we're not quite buying. That said, we do think it's nice Jess is being a supportive big sister.

And in case you're curious, this is the "amazing" Ashlee Simpson-Wentz in action:

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http://twitter.com/adamlambert/status/5232323034; rcarecords.com

Call it the twinkle defense.

The glam, campy and overly dramatic Adam Lambert has confounded his critics by releasing an apparently indefensible album cover that's (wait for it) glam, campy and overly dramatic.

Who saw that one coming?

But the American Idol runner-up has heard his haters' battle cries and is rallying to his own defense, taking to Twitter to justify—but absolutely not apologize for—his artistic vision as rendered on his inexplicably controversial For Your Entertainment debut.

And for those who find it a bit too outlandish, well, that just so happens to be the look he was going for.

"Thank you to those who appreciate and understand that the album cover is deliberately campy," he wrote this morning. "It's an omage [sic] to the past. It IS ridiculous.

"For those that don't get it: oh well…Glad to have gotten your attention," he added. "Androgyny. Rock n Roll."

And, of course, controversy. Like any good rock 'n' roll star.

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Does Adam Lambert swing both ways? In this month's Details he does.

Sony Pictures

She may be 77-years-old, but Elizabeth Taylor is nothing if not a trendsetter.

Michael Jackson's close friend was the first to Twitter her review of the star's final performance, This Is It, in 19 rounds of 140 characters or less, but, after last night's premiere, she certainly wasn't the last.

And she wasn't the only idol loving the film either.

"I'm sitting in the Nokia Theater in awe of the This Is It movie!," wrote Paula Abdul. "So many emotions are coming up for me I can't believe He's Gone BRILLIANT."

"MJ movie is powerful," Ryan Seacrest said. "The singing…the dancing!! He was a perfectionist…and very funny."

Dancing With the Stars hottie Julianne Hough felt the message as well.

"MJ movie was amazing so inspiring and motivating!!! Let's make this world a better place," she encouraged.

Like Liz, one viewer thought the film was ripe for awards, while several Glee-ful stars gave their takes…

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It's hard to Twitter a full movie review 140 characters at a time. Once you get up to maybe the ninth or tenth tweet, you might think "Hmm. I should probably just regular blog." But Elizabeth Taylor decided to stick it out and after 19 Twitter updates we knew exactly how she felt about Michael Jackson's This Is It, which premieres tonight.

Considering she was M.J.'s close friend, she's probably a little biased, yet she managed to cover everything about the movie, from Kenny Ortega's directing to its awards season potential—just like a real movie reviewer.

Now, let’s get to her review. It is one of the first out so it's kind of a big deal... 

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