Whether you're going door to door tonight dressed as Joel or Lou or our personal favorite, "The Drunk Dad," remember to check your candy for razor blades and drugs. And if you find any, send them to us.

• Last-minute costume suggestion from Tyra, kids: that's right, scare the 'hood as Kim Kardashian. Not recommended for children under 32-DD.

• How can a self-respecting Bridezilla keep a straight face when she's talking about someone in a wheelchair? She can't.  

• The painful truth about Lorenzo Lamas's breastfeeding envy! 

• It takes a big woman to satisfy a little man's squashing needs. But will the magic disappear along with the pounds?

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Want more scary? Sink your teeth into our gallery of TV's Hottest Vampires

Papa Lorenzo has his hands full next on Sunday's show when kooky Shayne and her BFF Amber take their bodacious keesters out for a stroll during a biker rally in Sturgis, South Dakota, guzzle shots of tequila and try on assless leather chaps, much to the delight of an audience of horny bikers.

Now that's reality!

The intrepid men of Ghost Adventures have pointed their night vision cameras at many a terrifying apparition, but searching for the ghost of Joel McHale—in the very halls of E!, no less—proves to be a unique challenge.

Mainly because he's not dead. But searching for non-existant ghosts has never stopped Zak Bagans before, and it sure as hell won't this time!

Catch even more horrifying action on a new Soup tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT.

Who would have thought you could mix firearms and flirting? Apparently, the producers of Lock N' Load, a reality show filmed within the confines of the Colorado gun shop of one Josh T. Ryan.

With innuendos and double entendres flying as fast and furious as the bullets in the basement shooting range, charismatic Ryan helps a hip rocker couple pick out the perfect weapon for home use.  And, especially in this customer's profession, hopefully not the workplace.

There's nothing quite so magical as a sweet old man telling stories of the old days, especially when they involve chickens. In the Bronx. And Regis Philbin is just the aging fowl enthusiast to do it. 

Speaking of meat you can eat, Oprah is a gal who likes her some corn dog. See how a humble, crusted weiner drives her to orgasmic heights of excitement.

And if that's not enough, watch Wendy Williams take a Bic lighter to a Slim Jim for a delicious on-air snack. 

Then tune in tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT as America's favorite snackmaster himself, Joel McHale, serves up steaming fistfuls of Soup.

When peaceable Rehab security guard Deebo and his Quaker beard have to get tough with three party crashers, things get tense for the man.

So tense he feels the need to call for backup.

Who can blame him? Down there in the deserted underground hallway, it's three big dudes against one guy. 

And a camera crew. Oh, and a sound guy.

Texas has long been a bastion of rich people who do things their way. Howard Hughes, ZZ Top and of course George W. and now Dallas Divas & Daughters are added to that exclusive list.

Now, thanks to the ultra-rich POV of DD&D, we can venture into the high-dollar heart of the Longhorn State where locals scoff at all that recession stuff and concentrate on the important things in life.

In the case of Patty and Jacky, that means a diva making sure her high school grad daughter will be packin' heat before she enters the halls of higher learning. 

You never know when you're going to have to shoot one of those nuts who comes to class with a gun.

Whether you know him as a frequent and sure-fire Soup gag target or the hardest working and least-shaving man in show business, Ryan Seacrest knows a news story when he sees it.

On the teleprompter.

And the latest E! scoop is your very own Joel McHale. Ryan gets minion Jason Kennedy to visit McHale on the set of his high-budget network show Community to delve into the heavy topics: money, men in make-up and Ryan Seacrest.

And don't forget to catch Community tonight at 8/7c on NBC.

Traditionally, Halloween costumes are based on terrifying creatures, hideous monsters and repulsive ghouls.

Where a Kim Kardashian get-up falls into that we won't venture to say, but that's the outfit of choice this season for Tyra Banks, (given her proportions, all she really needs is a wig) who'll debut her look on Friday's show (4 p.m. on the CW Network).

A sexy costume, for sure, but wouldn't a Bruce Jenner mask have been scarier?

Dr. Brady Barr is an adventerous man, indeed.

The National Geographic channel's Dangerous Encounters host has wrestled alligators from treacherous rivers, waded through bat guano in caves miles deep and bear-hugged jungle salamanders the size of humans. 

Now the thrill seeker captures a rattle snake (sorry, "a monster!") and, professional nature handler that he is, places it in a picnic cooler. In the back seat of his car.

Grab me a cold one, buddy!

On Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders: Making the Team, a potentential squad member is shocked to find out that a bone density scanner can reveal unsightly brain fat.

What kind of diet gets rid of that?

Cougars.

They used to be just a meat-eating predators known for traveling alone, quietly stalking before pouncing on unsuspecting prey in a desperate, animalistic frenzy.

Now, thanks to Courteney Cox, they're also middle-aged women. Known for traveling alone, quietly stalking before pouncing on unsuspecting prey in a desperate, animalistic frenzy.

And who have a TV show to plug.

But beyond that, who can unravel the motivation behind their rash behavior?

Regis.