Watching Whitney Houston win the coveted American Music Award last night was a touching moment.

Especially for the award.

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In the hopeful world of spook-seeking tool Zak Bagans, the Ohio Reformatory is a sexy place.

Why? Over almost 100 years, some 150,000 violent men were incarcerated there, and "today, their evil spirits still prey on women, the elderly and the weak as they carry out their eternal sentences."

Shivering yet?

Perhaps not as much as the reformatory tour guide, a dangling carrot (in Zak's eyes, anyway) for the wicked prison horndogs from beyond the grave.

Though you might wanna watch your back, Zak. With a stud like you in their midst, these randy spirits just might be in search of doing a little more hard time.

Making the grade on Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader is no easy feat.

The standards are high, the demands are many: sexiness, chronic smiling, pom-pom finesse and, of course, sexiness.

But, as we know, not every woman is perfect, so it's refreshing indeed to see that the squad leaders are willing to accomodate a poor, pitiful, hopeful with a freakishly "weird" body.

For Shayne and Dakota, the fun-loving, irrepressible Lamas girls, the world is one big bottle of room-service champagne in an expensive hotel overlooking Central Park in Manhattan where trashing said room is good clean fun!

Hey that's what maids are for, right? 

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Get an eyeful of the Shayne, Dakota and and the rest of the Lamas clan!

Sex can be bad enough in real life, but on TV it can really stink.

Unless Joel McHale is involved, and luckily he is tonight, offering you Love and Other Burning Sensations, a round-up of the best in on-screen sexual shipwreck moments.

Ahoy there, Secret Life of the American Teenager, you've made the cut! As this taste of the teeny-boffing show reveals, God works in mysterious ways.

Especially when it comes to action between the sheets.

Don't forget to tune in for more shocking fun at 10 p.m. ET/PT.

Love can be a terrible thing to waste. Unless, of course, when when it goes horribly wrong and can be repurposed into cheap yet satisfying entertainment.

And speaking of cheap yet satisfying, you won't want to miss tonight's Soup special, Love and Other Burning Sensations, as Joel "The Passion Master" McHale takes you on a guided tour through the worst (and therefore the best) moments in TV love gone wrong.

Including a taste of heartless Bachelorette host Chris Harrison, who took time away from whatever he does when The Bachelorette isn't on to shame and abuse McHale, live and in person.

Remember, you can catch more pain tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT!

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From big names to big shames, it was quite a week at Soup central. Fasten your bib, and let's dig in.

• Nicole Kidman gets her boob envy off her chest.

• Who knew Terrence Howard was an immortal player in the Hollywood firmament? Besides Terrence Howard?

• Jenna Jameson reveals her lofty porn standards to a curious Oprah.

• Sandra Bullock pays homage to Kathie Lee Gifford's buttocks. Yum.

 • Zany Shayne Lamas takes her space cadet blonde routine to the luxury car lot. Hilarity ensues. And confusion.

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Hilarity always ensues in the Soup blog video gallery.

The squeals, the yelps, the swift and agile footwork…Dancing With the Stars' recently off-loaded Aaron Carter now, like Abraham Lincoln, belongs to the ages.

But that didn't stop a spontaneous outpouring of Carter love from happening, right here in the E! courtyard.

Your move, single ladies.

And there's plenty more fancy stepping where that came from when Broadway Joel McHale trots out a swell new Soup tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT.

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Revisit all the hoofers of DWTS in the season-nine gallery.

He may not be a vampire of the New Moon variety, but don't worry, ladies, Joel McHale can still wax his chest with the best of 'em.

And when he wasn't engaged in intimate grooming this week, your Soup host discovered a complete idiot on The Amazing Race (imagine that!), and found Ray J, shocked and confused upon learning that Lucious—one of the ladies vying for his love—actually slept with someone before she met him!

And she looked so pure.

Find out even more shocking facts on your scalding new Soup tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT.

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The Soup isn't the only scorchin' thing around here! Check out these shots of all the New Moon madness!

The judicious tastemakers at People magazine may have crowned Johnny Depp the Sexiest Man Alive, but your very own Joel McHale walked away with Sexiest Troublemaker award this year.

Meaning when he has sex he causes trouble?

Anyway, the honor captured the attention of none other than Wendy Williams, who believes that troublemakers should get spanked.

Which is somehow a less-than-savory visual.

But don't worry, there's plenty of full-on savory action tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT on your red hot Soup.

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And until then, feast your eyes on more Joel McHale!

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What smells better than a singed yule log, goes down easier than a fizzing flute of OG-sanctified Cristal and is funny as hell, to boot?

And all without the threat of flaming ashes burning down your double-wide and leaving you with a $200 hangover?

Joel McHale, of course!

And, for the lucky folks in two select cities in the greatest nation on Earth (sorry, Canada), your beloved Soup host will be appearing live in his hilarious flesh.

Somehow, between his demanding schedule of starring in NBC's Community (Thursdays at 8 p.m. ET/PT), hosting The Soup (Fridays at 10 p.m. ET/PT) and searching for "Mafia Staff Car" bumper stickers for his fleet of vintage Trans-Ams, Joel will find the time to bring the magic to these hot spots:

• December 5, Loras College, Five Flags Center, Dubuque, IA

• December 31, Dodge Theater, Phoenix, AZ

According to Bravo, Million Dollar Listing agent ne plus ultra Chad Rogers regularly sells luxury estates to gaggles of celebs and is "one of the most sought-after agents in Los Angeles."

This despite the fact that he looks like a gangly teen with a bad Beatle haircut who'd be selling you a $15 bag of clumping litter at Petco.

But what do we know? Clearly, he's a power player, something that back-burnerned GF Victoria understands.

Or does she?