ABC

In what is being heralded as a major breakthrough in defining homosexuality in society as we know it, renowned actor, author and commercial spokesman William Shatner has lifted the veil of confusion that has existed for decades. The astonishingly simple statement consisted of this: “Like, who cares? Be gay. Don't be gay,” postulated Shatner.

“It’s amazing, and clearly the perfect encapsulation of the situation that has evaded doctors, psychiatrists, religious leaders and scholars for years,” stated Dr. Alan Michaels of the American Institute for Homosexual Studies to Soup Blog reporters. “Shatner is a long-time veteran of show business, an industry alleged to be populated by many homosexuals, so he clearly is an authority.”

The profound remark occurred when a miffed Shatner was addressing his relationship with openly gay actor George Takei, who did not invite him to his recent wedding to another man.

“The message is clear,” continued McCracken. “If you’re gay, then be gay. If you don’t want to be gay, then there is simply no need to be gay. Brilliant!”