Gristle Lovers Bristle at Madonna-Gristle Comparison

Gristle is good, say fans. And so is Madonna

By Peter Gilstrap Oct 22, 2008 10:00 AMTags
Madonna, Sticky and Sweet TourLeon Neal/AFP/Getty Images

While Guy Ritchie's recent alleged statement that making love to estranged wife Madonna was like "cuddling up to a piece of gristle" is yet another stab in an increasingly ugly breakup, the brash comparison has drawn criticism from a little-known organization, the American Association of Gristle Cuddlers.

Vernon Smalls, chairman of the Salem, Oregon-based organization of some 37 members, spoke to Soup Blog reporters this morning. "What is this man's problem with gristle?" demanded Smalls. "Gristle is the impermeable connective tissue found in meat, and we are all made of meat. Is Ritchie saying he doesn't like the human race? Or maybe he just doesn't like himself. Think about it."

When questioned about the association's interest in the actual cuddling of gristle, Smalls had this to say: "I come from a farming background, where gristle cuddling is a common and beautiful thing. Are you saying you don't like farmers? You might as well say you don't like America. And if you don't like America, you don't like Madonna, and you sure as hell don't like gristle. So I don't like you. Now get off of my land."