As difficult as it may be to think about anything other than which Kate (Gosselin or Major) is the greater shrew, there were a number of other important stories last week that bear reexamination. And there's also this Soup stuff.

• Reality shocker! Does Paris Hilton keep it real with her potential BFFs, or is she a sociopathic, backstabbing hater? You be the judge!

• When it comes to Kendra and meat—and it always does—she has a hard time finding it without the bone.

• Pants make the man, and the lack of them makes Meredith Vieira wild. And it's all the president's fault.

• Joe Jackson breaks down the facts behind the tragic death of his son: He went to sleep. He didn't wake up. So there was a problem.

• Welcome to the twisted emotional underbelly of loving toy trains. All aboard?