AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite

Sarah Palin: Why won't she just go the hell away?
—JYLynn, via Twitter

Her lingering corpse does seem odd, given she was slaughtered during the election, then drawn and quartered by the media after she left gubernatorial office—midway through her term—in Alaska.

At this point, Sarah Palin's just another celebrity shilling a book, right? So why does she seem like so much more? Well...

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ABC; ABC/Donna Svennevik

Sarah Palin's poll numbers are through the roof.

Monday's Oprah Winfrey Show, featuring the first stop on Palin's Going Rogue book tour, scored the daytime talk show's highest ratings in two years, reports said. 

And, yes, that means Palin outdrew the chimp-attack victim, Mackenzie Phillips' shocking daddy disclosure,  and Ellen DeGeneres' wedding video, to name three recent high-profile Oprah Winfrey gets.

Never underestimate the appeal of a pistol-packin' former vice presidential candidate with Levi Johnston problems, apparently.

Elsewhere in TV-ratings land, Heather Locklear saved Melrose Place last night. Well, sort of.

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AP Photo/Chris Miller; AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast

Looks like Thanksgiving dinner at Aunt Katie's won't be happening this year.

Hearing that his former future mother-in-law, Sarah Palin, is a bit heartbroken by his decision to pose for Playgirl, Levi Johnston thought neither long nor hard and announced that he couldn't care less.

"You know what, I don't care if she sees them," he said of the not-full-frontal photos he took for the magazine when E!'s cameras caught up with him today at L.A. International Airport.

"Who cares about what she says or does? I don't care. Forget about her," he said.

It's very obvious that the 19-year-old father of Palin's grandson, Tripp, doesn't care what she thinks, which is that Levi is "on a road that's not a healthy place to be."

True, the traffic on the road leading out of LAX is an accident waiting to happen...

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Carrie Prejean, for one, cares what Sarah Palin thinks.

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Levi Johnston must be more bashful than we thought.

After all the hype, the father to Sarah Palin's grandson won't be giving Playgirl the full monty. What a tease!

"[Levi] did not give 'full frontal' as his manager Tank [Jones] reported he would," Daniel Nardicio, a spokesman for Playgirl, told the New York Daily News.

However, the rep does promise minor peeks at Bristol Palin's ex's goodies and that the overall, ahem, package is sure to please.

"We're thrilled with the photos we got, and are confident people will love them, but although there may be glimpses, we did not get full on frontal nudity."

So much for that "aspiring porn" career! Sounds like there may be one less thing to talk about at the Palin family Thanksgiving dinner table.

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There was no nudity (or even a moon) on the New Moon red carpet, but everyone looked hot nonetheless.

ABC; ABC/Donna Svennevik

How dare Levi Johnston say Sarah Palin never went to a hockey game!

As Oprah Winfrey ticked off a list of unflattering things that Johnston has said about the Palin family since splitting up with baby mama Bristol, it appeared to be the attack on her hockey-mom status that stuck with the former governor of Alaska.

"So many of the inconsistencies...That's Levi's gig right now. And I really don't want to comment on that because he's on a road that's not a healthy place to be. He's a teenager."

When Winfrey first mentioned the 19-year-old father of Palin's grandson, Tripp, the Going Rogue: An American Life author kinda grimmaced, but pressed on despite her distaste for "some of the things he's doing."

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Oprah Winfrey is no Katie Couric. Which, for Sarah Palin, has got to be a blessing.

The former vice presidential candidate has completed her much-hyped interview with the openly Obama-favoring queen of daytime and although the highly anticipated summit won't air until Monday, we got a taste of their sit-down today.

And based on the clips and transcripts, it looks like Winfrey managed to get in the questions enquiring minds want to know without Palin pulling off her microphone and sitting silently in protest.

Like that infamous, potentially campaign-costing Couric interview. Palin admits it wasn't her proudest moment, but didn't take the bait when asked if she regarded it as game-changer.

"I did not. And neither did the campaign. In fact, that is why segment 2 and 3 and 4 and maybe 5 were scheduled. The campaign said, 'Right on. Good. You're showing your independence. This is what American needs to see and it was a good interview.'

"And of course I'm thinking, 'If you thought that was a good interview, I don't know what a bad interview is,' because it was a bad interview."

Oprah, of course, knows from good interviews and has no trouble going there. Which means Levi Johnston's ears are burning.

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Carrie Prejean is pretty, but she sure is testy.

Larry King got the fallen beauty queen so fired up on CNN's Larry King Live last night, she walked out on the show.

Prejean is in the middle of a publicity bonanza hawking her new book, Still Standing, detailing her clash with Donald Trump, Shanna Moakler and the rest of the Miss California organization.

After she showed off the tome and talked about her love for Sarah Palin—she considers herself "Palinized"—King began to ask about Prejean's recent settlement with the pageant organizers. She continued to spout her party line...that is, until she called King inappropriate and ripped off her microphone.

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Shat happens.

Most recently, on Wednesday night, when William Shatner gifted the viral video gods with yet another dramatic interpretation of awe-inspiring tweets, this time seemingly from the mind and keyboard of pro leg-spreader Levi Johnston.

Only they weren't.

"We'd been following Levi on Twitter and felt his gift for the written word needed to be shared with the world," Conan O'Brien explained. "Today I wake up, very late, I sleep in, and I got some shocking news: Apparently the tweets that we read are counterfeit. They were written by a clever imposter posing as the witty Levi Johnston.

"And the real Levi is angry with us now."

So what better way to redress the balance than by inviting the beat poet extraordinaire back out to the stage to reinterpret some bonafide Johnston sound bites.

"The first thing Sarah said to me at the hotel was, you gotta cut your hair," the Shatman recited. "I told her, I didn't want to. I had a mullet at the time.

"Guess what? I shot a big ass bear," he went on. "I just get naked, that's what I do."

On second thought, he might have been better off laying claim to the counterfeit quotes.

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Want more funny videos? Check out the offerings from resident funnylady Chelsea Handler!

AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast; Dr. Billy Ingram/Getty Images

Remember when Levi Johnston Twittered about getting some good weed?

Funny—he doesn't.

Despite The Tonight Show and William Shatner's hilarious reinterpretation of the Alaskan's tweets, Bristol Palin's baby-daddy claims he has no account on the microblogging site.

"Levi doesn't have a Twitter," his lawyer, Rex Butler, tells E! News. "We thought it was common knowledge by now that there was an imposter Twittering in his name. Obviously, some outlets have chosen to run this anyway. A simple phone call before would have taken care of it.”

But the attorney isn't too quick to point a finger at NBC. He'd like to hear back from the website before he bothers taking on a network.

"I’ve sent an email to Twitter because they need to step up and take care of business," Butler says. "Then we’ll deal with The Tonight Show. First thing’s first."

That's probably a good thing, since Levi won't be hearing a peep (or a tweet) from NBC anytime soon.

"We will have no statement from the show or network," a rep for NBC tells E! News.

For the record, the bio for the account @LeviJohnston15 reads, "this account its not wor it will never be verified .. so stop asking." The Johnston he'll be showing Playgirl, however, will be the real deal for sure.

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This story sure beats the weighty issues we were discussing earlier today!