Interscope

Lady Gaga's video for "Bad Romance" is either astonishingly brilliant or horrifyingly, beyond-belief stupid. What do you think? Guide your lemmings, Answer Bitch!
—Liz, via Facebook

I think we need to understand what Gaga is trying to tell us other than walk, walk, fashion, baby. And to do that we need to analyze the images we're seeing, and boy are there a lot of 'em.

So what are we working with here? The video includes images of a hairless cat, a guy in an S&M roman gladiator chin strap, an alternate Gaga with anime eyes in a bathtub, and diamonds floating in space. And oh: She's crying, and dancing, but not at the same time.

She wears righteous sunglasses.

There is an actual story to the video, and we'll go over it through the wise, mystical prism of dream analysis! Let us begin...

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INFphoto.com

Rihanna finally spoke out about domestic violence this week. What took her so long?
—via the Answer B!tch mailbox

She has broken her silence! All over the place! In Glamour! And then tomorrow and Friday on Good Morning America and 20/20! And it only took eight months.

Before we get into it, let me be clear: Nobody deserves what happened to Rihanna. Nobody. But then now, months after her boyfriend beat her to a pulp, for the first time does this very visible role model actually say anything about it.

She tells Glamour: "I want to give as much insight as I can to young women, because I feel like I represent a voice that really isn't heard. Now I can help speak for those women."

Great, but why now, you ask? Maybe because her album is coming out? Because now she wants my money?

Considering how much good can be done by Rihanna speaking up, and how much harm may have been done by her silence, that is not OK. Hear exactly why in my all-new podcast! Hit play above to listen.

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Never miss an episode! Subscribe to my free podcast on iTunes.

Jordan Strauss/Getty Images

How come everybody seems to love Selena Gomez? You can't go anywhere to look for dirt on this girl.
—Andre H.G., via the Answer B!tch inbox

And thus the circle was squared: Your second sentence essentially answers—or at least partially answers—your question.

Tweens love Selena Gomez because—aside from her hit show (Wizards of Waverly Place, people) and music, of course—she offers just enough bubblegum intrigue to reel you in without grossing you out.

This is not Britney Spears, with her icky bare feet traipsing in and out of public bathrooms, and her erstwhile bald head leering into a paparazzi lens, and her stripper poles, and her...ew. Britney is too much for that crowd. Tweenies just want to watch some TV and, um, hear a cool song, and pretend that their favorite stars are engaged in feuds.

Nobody—except for maybe Demi Lovato or Miley Cyrus—provides a better canvas for that kind of pink sparkly unicorn fantasy.

Exactly what is Selena's magic formula? Well...

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ANG/Fame Pictures

Diddy just got another show? Why does he still have a job, much less a show? Can I have a show?
—K.K.

Yep. Another show. This one about the making of his new backup band. Sean "Diddy" Combs, that zombie of the hip-hop lifestyle, continues to shamble along despite a noticeable lack of presence on the music charts. Oh wait. Totally forgot. He just cut that totally not-opportunistic single about Michael Jackson. Forget I said anything.

So why would Diddy still have a TV career? You'll be shocked...

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Jed Jacobsohn/ Getty Images, Telegraph UK/ ZUMA Press

How much is the Michael Jackson memorial event going to cost people in taxes?
—Michaela, Sylmar

Most of the obedient serfs close to the memorial aren't saying how much it will cost citizens—and that includes public safety folks who, I could have sworn, work for us.

However, a city official tells me we're looking at this costing Los Angeles $2.5 million. And rising. For a city that is operating on a deep deficit.

Still, to dedicated fans, that cost may sound reasonable; as Al Sharpton is so keen on reminding us, we're dealing with an icon who apparently needs his own postage stamp and national holiday.

However, you may be chapped to learn exactly how much the Jackson family and promoter AEG will be benefiting from this outlay of public funds...

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ADC/Keystone/ZUMAPress.com; Dave Hogam/Getty Images

Now that M.J. is dead, who has the rights to the Beatles songs—and will we be able to buy them on iTunes?
—Casey

The publishing rights to most of the Beatles' biggest hits are owned by one entity, a joint venture between the late Michael Jackson and the music arm of Sony Corp. It's called Sony/ATV, and it also owns the rights to songs written by Bob Dylan, Neil Diamond, Taylor Swift and, oh yes, the Jonas Brothers.

But Sony/ATV does not handle the recordings of Beatles songs. Two other companies do that, so whether you'll ever download "Come Together" off of iTunes has nothing to do with M.J.'s death. I'll have more info on that for you later in this story.

As for what happens to Jackson's portion of that legendary publishing catalogue, welcome to the big, hot mess that is Jacko's estate...

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John Shearer/ Getty Images

I recently went to see John Mayer, but he only played five or six of his own songs and then started playing his favorite artist's songs. Why? Do royalties have to be paid for that? And who decides such playlists? Thanks.

—Mrs JK, Queens, NY, via Facebook

It's all up to Mayer whether he wants to confirm or deny that your body is a wonderland—versus launching into, say, a Tom Petty cover, which he also has been known to do. I understand that Mayer has played "Free Fallin' " in concert, just as the Jonas Brothers like to cover Shania Twain, while Blink-182 prefers "Genie in a Bottle" by Christina Aguilera. And Taylor Swift likes to honor everybody from Rihanna to Eminem. (Yes, really. She has done "Lose Yourself" live.) Whatever the lineup, it's the star's choice.

Royalties are usually the responsibility of the venue hosting the event, but as for why singers do covers in the first place, I turn now to a member of the respected band Tonic...

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AP Photo/Joel Ryan

Why do venues still continue to book Amy Winehouse? Her recent concert at the St. Lucia Jazz Festival was embarrassing and painful to watch. But she hasn't really put on a real, good show for a long time and clearly has some problems.
—Beth, West Bend, Wisc.

I contacted a tour marketer/concert promoter about this. The answer I got may shock you. Be sitting down right now. Are you sitting down? Are you lying to me? Do you think I can't see you?

So the Amy Winehouse that concert promoters see is apparently very different from the Amy Winehouse you think you know...

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WENN

So. Lady Gaga. From the looks of my inbox and the Twitter, you kids just love all five feet of her, yes you do. Very well. All your Gaga questions! Answered! In this special all-Gaga edition!

Who is Lady Gaga's fashion inspiration?
—krisjess, via Twitter

The woman who was born Stefani Germanotta of course loves Italian fashion. "I channel Versace in everything I do," she told the Sunday London Times. "Donatella is my muse in so many ways. She's iconic."

Gaga also likes Chanel, Gareth Pugh and Marni. Also, from the look of her getups, she shares some DNA with Thierry Mugler.

I heard that Lady Gaga is a lesbian. Is that true?
—Midnite Fantasy, via Twitter

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Summit Entertainment

I am loving the Twilight soundtrack. Any scoop on the next one? And how do they find music for TV and movies, anyway?
—Jade, Perth, Western Australia

The songs for New Moon haven't been nailed down yet—the flick is still in preproduction after all—but do I have some gossip on the movie anyway? You bet.

First, some background. When it comes to Twilight's soundtrack, you may credit legendary music supervisor Alexandra Patsavas, who has also curated the music for TV shows The OC, Roswell, Chuck, Mad Men and Without a Trace. Patsavas is also on board to supervise the sound for New Moon. Now the gossip...

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Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images

Why do singers come out with alter egos? First Garth Brooks, now Beyoncé. What is the point of it?
—Kayla, Atlanta

It's a safe way for a performer to explore an unexpected style of music without permanently alienating hardcore fans. Country star Garth Brooks grew a soul patch and declared himself Chris Gaines so that he could splash around in the rock-and-roll pool for a while, but Beyoncé's "more aggressive" Sasha Fierce barely tiptoes outside the R&B comfort zone, leaving little for teenyboppers to cower over.

Speaking of cowering, bow down, fools, as my alter ego, the ANSWER B!TCH, slices and dices your every question in the latest installment of Burning Q's. Observe...

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AP Photo

I heard some news that Avril Lavigne lost her hand. Is it true? I hope not.
—HF

If so, she's found it. She has two hands now.

A female punk drummer did lose her hand recently; maybe that's who you're thinking about?

What's the math on movies—why do they cost so much to make? Thanks for your bitchin' answers, Bitch!
—Loren, Chicago

The biggest elements of a film budget are (a) people, like cast, director and producers, (b) special effects and (c) "below the line" costs, like locations, crew and equipment. In the case of, say, Spider-Man 2, here's how a $200 million budget broke down:

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