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It's Friday, so naturally, a beaver was the big guest on the CBS Early Show. Make that, a full-bladdered beaver. Though not for long.

Blame nerves, blame nature, blame an oddly well-honed sense of urinary precision, but just a few short moments into the animal segment, unsuspecting correspondent Debbye Turner Bell was sprayed by a blast of liquid excretion.

No problem, these things happen. But rarely do they happen twice in a row.

As Bell made her way toward a towel-bearing minder, the beaver struck again, this time releasing another stream of pee right in her face.

We don't know whether to be impressed or grossed out. The Early Show, though, clearly wanted us to go with the latter, providing as they did a slow-motion reel of the incident.

For which we thank them.

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Check out more aww-inducing animals in our Very Important Pets gallery.

Comedy is all about timing. Unfortunately, Brüno's stank.

Days after Michael Jackson's June 25 death—just two weeks before Sacha Baron Cohen's raunchfest was set to premiere—filmmakers scrambled to remove a scene that could have been deemed distasteful, even by their standards. The flamboyant Austrian fashion plate lured La Toya Jackson to a Hollywood home, sat her on a Mexican laborer, made her eat sushi off the nude body of another, Shanghai'd her BlackBerry and read out Michael's number, all after asking her to impersonate him.

But what a difference four months makes.

Now, like Edward and Bella or Suri Cruise and seasonally inappropriate garb, Brüno and La Toya are once again back together, with the cut scene restored for the film's forthcoming home video release. But not before resurfacing exclusively right here!

Though if it all seems a little familiar, there's a good reason for that...

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Shat happens.

Most recently, on Wednesday night, when William Shatner gifted the viral video gods with yet another dramatic interpretation of awe-inspiring tweets, this time seemingly from the mind and keyboard of pro leg-spreader Levi Johnston.

Only they weren't.

"We'd been following Levi on Twitter and felt his gift for the written word needed to be shared with the world," Conan O'Brien explained. "Today I wake up, very late, I sleep in, and I got some shocking news: Apparently the tweets that we read are counterfeit. They were written by a clever imposter posing as the witty Levi Johnston.

"And the real Levi is angry with us now."

So what better way to redress the balance than by inviting the beat poet extraordinaire back out to the stage to reinterpret some bonafide Johnston sound bites.

"The first thing Sarah said to me at the hotel was, you gotta cut your hair," the Shatman recited. "I told her, I didn't want to. I had a mullet at the time.

"Guess what? I shot a big ass bear," he went on. "I just get naked, that's what I do."

On second thought, he might have been better off laying claim to the counterfeit quotes.

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Want more funny videos? Check out the offerings from resident funnylady Chelsea Handler!

If we were Bristol Palin, we'd shut down our Twitter account now. After all, getting mocked dramatically reinterpreted by William Shatner has turned into a family affair for Alaska's former first family, as estranged baby-daddy turned professional trou-dropper Levi Johnston is the latest tweeter to get caught in Captain Kirk's crosshairs.

As he did with Sarah Palin (twice) before, the Shat man grabbed his bongos, his bass and his never-bland delivery, and gifted the Tonight Show audience with a beat-tastic reading of Johnston's 140-character musings.

Let's just say, he makes Palin look like a veritable wordsmith.

"Maybe I'm a genius and not even know it," Shatner recited. "Maybe I don't exist and it only seems like I do. Maybe this is a parallel universe where I don't. Anybody know where I can get some good weed?"

Turns out, you can take the hick out of Wasilla, but not out of tweets.

"What's the deal with taxi drivers not speaking English, is it a law against it?" he mused. The blissfully ignorant questions didn't stop there.

"Is it true that fat kids never get kidnapped?"

And no tweet reenactment would be complete without touching on his upcoming, highly unanticipated Playgirl spread.

"You know you're a celebrity when strangers want to see your penis. LMAO."

Yes, Levi. But only to L their own AO.

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Last week, comedy's heavyweights donned their finest embarrassing dad sweaters, broke out the bubbly—and the clip reel—and paid tribute to Bill Cosby, who was on the receiving end of the exceedingly prestigious 12th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.

On hand to present the longtime-coming award (the family-friendly Cos had twice turned down the honor in objection to the 1998 profanity-laced inaugural ceremony honoring Richard Pryor) were Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, former Cosby Show costars Phylicia Rashad and Malcolm-Jamal Warner and fellow comedian and longtime pal Dick Gregory.

The erstwhile Huxtable's 45-year career was retold via show highlights, memories and, of course, jokes.

When Seinfeld and Rock took the stage together at the Kennedy Center, they recounted the 72-year-old's recent show at the Apollo Theater. Or at least they would have if they hadn't been so sartorially distracted.

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ABC/TIM OGIER

It's months away, but the Oscars are already Rocking our world.

In the latest effort to return Hollywood's biggest night to must-see-TV status, the powers that be have tapped Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin to cohost the 82nd Annual Academy Awards next year.

"I am happy to co-host the Oscars with my enemy Alec Baldwin," Martin, who hosted the ceremony solo in 2000 and 2002, said in a statement.

"I don't play the banjo but I'm thrilled to be hosting the Oscars—it's the opportunity of a lifetime," added Baldwin, a veteran movie star and past nominee who just collected his second straight Emmy for being freakin' hilarious on 30 Rock.

Our sides are hurting already. 

"Steve will bring the experience of having hosted the show in the past and Alec will be a completely fresh personality for this event," first-time Oscar producer Adam Shankman said. (And we're thinking the prescient Mark Malkin deserves some kudos, as well.)

Comedy Central / Martin Cook

Tip of the hat to Stephen Colbert.

Despite the tragic number of Canadians he'll be forced to deal with, the funnyman announced Monday that his show will become the primary sponsor of the U.S. speedskating team at the 2010 Olympic Games in Vancouver.

The Colbert Report is stepping up in light of the recent stepping down of DSB Bank NV, which is normally the team's largest source of cash flow but was forced to declare bankruptcy last month.

"I shaved my entire body so I was more aerodynamic for my report on speed skating," Colbert wrote on Twitter this evening.

The team's uniforms will be emblazoned with "Colbert Nation," and the Fauxpublican talk show host is asking his fans—the very ones who helped him get a treadmill on the International Space Station named after him—to donate funs via www.colbertnation.com and www.usspeedskating.org.

"My character sees the Olympics as war, but nobody gets hurt," Colbert told the AP before tonight's episode. "It's a way to peacefully figure out who has got the top country... [The process] still tragically involves a lot of Canadians. It's kind of unseemly how many Canadians I'm going to have to be dealing with." 

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What's better than constant LOLing? A frightfest, you say? Like the one in our Famous Festive Fiends gallery?

HBO / Ron Batzdorff

Should Larry David have curbed his urine stream on last week's Curb Your Enthusiasm?

The plot thread in which Larry's midriff-showing assistant thinks her mom's painting of Jesus is crying because of Larry's bathroom backsplash has a couple of Catholic groups on the offensive against what they perceive as a tasteless, persecutorial jab against their religion.

"I don't think it's funny," InsideCatholic.com publisher Deal Hudson told FoxNews.com. "Why is it that people are allowed to publicly show that level of disrespect for Christian symbols? If the same thing was done to a symbol of any other religions—Jewish or Muslim—there'd be a huge outcry. It's simply not a level playing field."

Hudson thinks an apology is in order.

But Curb is indeed an equal-opportunity lampooner. No character is safe from being made to look like an ass, and HBO is proud of it.

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Nothing like a little natural disaster to bring out the funny.

As high-powered winds wreaked havoc in Los Angeles last night, the lights in Craig Ferguson's Late Late Show studio suddenly went pitch black during the last few seconds of his interview with Alicia Silverstone—to the surprise of host, guest and stagehands, and, thanks to the quick-thinking Ferguson, the amusement of viewers.

"Oh!" the suddenly faceless Ferguson cried out. "Oooh, it's getting close to Halloween. This is awesome. We've gone to radio, everybody!"

When prompted by a producer to "keep going," for the last few seconds before the commercial break, Ferguson had a hard time grasping the notion, but like any obliging cheeky monkey, did as he was told.

"Keep going, keep going what? Keep going?! We'll be right back everybody."

The power managed to come back for Ferguson's second interview, with Salman Rushdie (not even a force of nature would dare come between a man and his fatwa), but conked back out by the end of the show.

Not that that put a crimp in the enterprising (and flashlight-possessing) host's late-night denouement...

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Controversy may help sell books, but publicly bashing your former coworkers doesn't exactly make for comfortable work environments. Which is why we're thinking Lorne Michaels may have had a word, at least if Tracy Morgan's suddenly toned-down comments are any indication.

"It's not that I don't have nice things to say," Morgan told Matt Lauer when pressed on his "f--- 'em" comments to Cheri Oteri and Chris Kattan last week. (He had us fooled.) "It just never was there."

"We never had a relationship, I don't have anything against anybody, but what happened happened…at any job there are differences. At any job, wherever you go, there are gonna be people who don't get along, who don't speak."

Morgan, who in a leaked clip from the audiobook of his new memoir, I Am the New Black, named names and apropos of, well, nothing really, slammed his former colleagues, pointing to their careers and claiming nowadays neither could so much as "get arrested."

Maybe that was Chico Divine talking?

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Who isn't backstage to fulfill David Letterman's every whim?

Wasn't the Late Show host pleased to find out tonight that the little red button on his desk automatically beckons Tom Hanks when pressed—and that the two-time Oscar winner will drop everything to be at his side?!

Well, Hanks was willing to drop everything (over the course of 5,000 shows, apparently!), but as he warned Letterman—"You abuse it, you lose it."

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Conan O'Brien better steer clear of the Holland Tunnel next time he's in New York.

Newark Mayor Cory Booker has banned (humorous mock-feud-style) the Tonight Show host from the entire state of New Jersey after O'Brien, who had already mocked the sanitation situation in Booker's fair city, dared to ban the politico from Bob Hope Airport in Burbank, Calif.

Booker said in his second YouTube video on the subject (the first having banned O'Brien from Newark's airport) that he's received emails from mayors all over the state.

"You see, we in New Jersey roll hard, we roll strong and we roll together. And now I'm here to officially tell you, you have been banned from the entire state of New Jersey.

"Now look, you may like [Atlantic City spots] Boardwalk and Park Place, but the only way you're going to get to them is on a Monopoly board."

And it turns out there are a few other places Conan can't go, as well.

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