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How does one choose between Brad Pitt and Rosie O'Donnell?

We're not sure we know (or want to know), but, at some point, Angelina Jolie was faced with that conflict. At least, according to Rosie.

The talk show icon blabbed to Howard Stern on Sirius XM radio about a time before she was married to Kelli Carpenter and Angelina had tied the knot with Billy Bob Thornton. A romance, she claimed, was a-bloomin'.

"She gave me her phone number," Rosie said. "We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that. There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through."

Fear got the best of Rosie and she wasn't able to seal the deal.

"I was a little afraid of her," she said. "She's scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still."

We'd say "TMI," but our jaws are still on the floor.

The erstwhile Lara Croft isn't the only bone the flower picked during the interview. She also offered some insight into the rocky state of affairs of her marriage, as well as her thoughts on the relationship between Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King.

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This is almost too easy for Howard.

Artie Lange, whose sobriety-challenged history has made from countless punchlines The Howard Stern Show, presumably is getting a lift to the studio for the near future after copping to a DUI count in New Jersey.

The 41-year-old funnyman pleaded guilty to being under the influence of prescription sleeping pills when he crashed his car in the Toms River back on July 10.

The judge in turn revoked Lange's license for seven months, ordered him to attend DUI classes, fined him $600—and provided Stern enough fodder to make it through the rest of the week.

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This is getting too serious for our taste. 

Funnyman Artie Lange, whose heaviness, history of drug abuse and overall mental health are constant fodder for some unfortunately hilarious banter on The Howard Stern Show, was busted Friday on suspicion of DUI after being involved in a fender bender in New Jersey.

Police found no indication that Lange was "under the influence of illicit drugs," Toms River Police Capt. Steve Henry told the Asbury Park Press.

But the police detective who happened upon a minor traffic collision at around 1:30 p.m. determined that Lange was under the influence of something. After he was taken into custody, a sample of one fluid or another was taken at the police station and sent off to the lab for analysis. 

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Jay Leno may have left his Tonight Show perch for prime time, but that's not stopping Howard Stern from stoking a new late-night war.

Speaking in no uncertain terms, the shock jock ripped into Leno during his appearance on last night's Late Show and vowed to help host David Letterman take down his new rival, Conan O'Brien.

"We gotta beat this Conan. I mean for God sakes, how are you feeling that Jay left late-night television and now we got a new guy we gotta compete with?" asked Stern.

"And I wanna say something to this audience about loyalty. Dave put me on national television many many years ago before I was known. And I have stuck with Dave. I didn't like Jay. I never liked Jay. I can't stand Jay."

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We didn't believe it for a second.

Despite all the suckers on the interwebs, Beyoncé Knowles has not, in fact, pulled an Enrique Iglesias. That fingers-in-your-ears singing shrieking Howard Stern played on his radio show, calling it an unedited board mix of the star performing on the Today show last November, is a hoax.

In fact, E! News tracked down the creator of the video above who confirmed its lack of authenticity.

"Yes I created them they are fake," says Matt from Hellohomo.com.

In addition to the wacked-out version of "If I Were a Boy" that made it onto Stern's show Tuesday, the site also got silly with the star's performance of "Single Ladies."

Surely, the small blog—which posted the videos in early January—probably didn't expect it to make its way through major media outlets and straight to Beyoncé's father, Mathew Knowles.

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