Humberto Carreno/startraksphoto.comDear Ted:
There's a lot of speculation about whether Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler have taken their onscreen relationship offscreen. They seem at the very least to be great friends and admirers of each other. Is there anything more going on there? The dinner they shared last week had conflicting reports: one stating they were intimate and affectionate with each other, while others said they were just having a "friendly dinner." Is the former just overactive imaginations, or is the latter just PR control, trying to cover the true nature of their relationship? Gerard let it slip in a radio interview that he had recently been to a BBQ at Courteney Cox's—is this all the proof needed to know that he and Jen are indeed more than mere friends?
—Rarnold
Dear Loveline:
There will be no Geraniston anytime soon. No romantic gazing-into-each-other's-eyes kinda dinner will be had by these two. This is strictly Renée Zellweger-George Clooney redux.
Dear Ted:
I hope Rob Pattinson does SNL. He is awesome! Someone needs to tell his manager and publicist to do their jobs and get him up to host. Anyway, Megan Fox is doing SNL next Saturday...can't wait. If she can do it, R.Pattz can, too!
—Nikkz
Dear Anomaly:
A girl who loves R.Pattz and Megan? Thought it wasn't possible. Agree with you on all of the above, babe.
Dear Ted:
Kanye is such a douche nozzle! Do you think he needs to spend part of his break in rehab?
—Karen
Dear I Wish:
You can't go to rehab for a personality defect. Or can you?
Dear Ted:
Why is Justin Timberlake still with his lame-ass girlfriend and now attending the Emmys with her? He seems unhappy with her all the time, so why is he still with her.
—Mariah
Dear Timberpuss:
Seriously beats me. Good, reliable sex maybe?
Dear Ted:
Have any of those adorable Jonas Brothers ever been a Blind Vice?
—J
Dear Bad Brothers:
Uh, which one are you curious about?
Dear Ted:
I actually found you while I was looking up some info on Jared Padalecki. I've been a fan of Supernatural since the show first started. Two questions: First, what is your definition of a beard (just wanted to make sure I understand that correctly)? And second, what do you think of Jensen Ackles and Daneel Harris' relationship? Is it real? Any info would be greatly appreciated.
—Angie
Dear So Proper:
A beard is a person who knowingly enters into a romantic relationship in order to help reduce speculation into the other person's sexuality. A double-beard is when that partner is simultaneously veiling their own sexuality, as well. Hollywood, as a result, is an incredibly follicle-filled town.
Dear Ted:
Would you help promote this? Registration is not necessary, and voting is free. There are so many great rescue organizations out there, and this is an easy way to help.
—Alina
Dear Puppy Love:
Always.
Dear Ted:
Newish reader here who is quickly becoming hooked. Love the way you tell it like it is, and I've especially loved your recent coverage of Casey Wilson. Also Kanye West. Doesn't he realize how much he humiliated Beyoncé and basically cheated her of her moment, too? Anyway, one of your recent Bitch-Back's inspired me to ask: Orlando Bloom has been as dull as dirt lately, but has he ever been a B.V. in the past?
—Camilla
Dear Full Bloom:
Welcome to the A-Team! And Orly may be dullish on the outside, but he has his delicious, muscled secrets. If you don't speak Ted yet, that would be a big fat wow-oui to your last question.
Dear Ted:
No disrespect to Taylor Lautner, but surely the Summit suits realize they may as well not bother promoting New Moon without Rob. Why do they persist in trying to push this nonexistent love triangle? Most people skim across the middle part in order to get to the reunion, with Edward and Bella back together. No one is interested in Jacob. Why can't they just get a grip on reality?
—Wendy
Dear Three's a Crowd:
Rob may be No. 1 in our hearts, but Tay-Tay is No. 2. We don't want him to go away! (Nor should you.)
Dear Ted:
Does Tobey Yum-Yum have other family members in the Biz?
—HMW
Dear Yum's in the Family:
Specify Biz.
Dear Ted:
Really? Sophia Bush a bitch? How so? She seems like one of the last nice girls left in Hollywood.
—Worried
Dear Gullible:
And I suppose you think Reese Witherspoon is a perf peach, too?
Dear Ted:
Not a fan of Kristen Stewart but whatever Rob wants, fine. As upset as you get at Summit for its intrusion into Robsten (gross, can't believe I just wrote that), don't you think she should have walked the carpet at the VMAs with Taylor? It would have helped his "straight" appearance, kept rumors and questions circling, and then when the trailer was to be shown, Rob would have come out with Ashley. They all would have presented and then left. The flow would have been smoother, and Stank ho wouldn't have had to say so many lines that she obviously can't handle, and they would have looked more comfortable. Taylor is a baby boy, and if Jacob is going to be any part of this "cash cow" trinity, then K.S. needs to help. Come on, she said in E.W. that she'd kill for the kid. She can't walk a red carpet with him and hold his hand and make him laugh? Rob wouldn't care. Your thoughts?
—Lssey
Dear Watch It:
First off, we don't condone Stew-bashing; you're on the wrong blolum. But secondly, Rob trumps Taylor, ya dig?
Dear Ted:
Was wondering if there was any gossip on Sam Worthington. Just watched Terminator Salvation and fell in lust.
—Whatever
Dear Worthy of Praise:
Australian. Very butch. Hot, über-talented actor who could easily surpass Russell Crowe—albeit with the right parts. In other words, he knows far better how to sell his sweaty manliness.
Dear Ted:
Do you think with all the New Moon press coming up, Robsten might finally admit that they're a couple? They can't avoid the question forever and nobody's going to believe them if they say they're just friends?
—Natalie
Dear Nice Try:
Yeah, just like Nikki Reed's gonna declare she's dating Paris Latsis for his personality, not his fortune.
Dear Ted:
I don't even care about Twilight, and yet I'm obsessed with all of the Robsten drama. What kind of voodoo do you work, anyway? I have a few questions about Dashed Dingle-Dreams. Are Dashed and his beard on the same network by any chance? And just what did JJO do to win him back in the first place? Hope things work out with those two in the future.
—Twice Shy
Dear Too Close for Comfort:
If you're so confident, why don't you just out them already?
Dear Ted:
I swore I wouldn't chime in on this, but what can I say? I'm weak. The Kanye West-Taylor Swift fiasco was unbelievable. West is a talentless schmuck of a tool whose only claim to fame is seeing just how big a jackass he can make of himself each and every time he opens his yap. I'll admit this is one thing he excels at! Taylor was entitled to her moment—alone—in the spotlight. How incredibly crass of West to take this from her. Kudos to Taylor and Beyoncé for proving how to show class in a very nasty situation.
—BitchOnWheels
Dear Slamming in Overdrive:
Taylor has outsold Kanye for the year, so I would say the joke's on him doncha think?