Who Needs a Blog? Madonna Goes Analog With Column

Wed., Jul. 29, 2009 1:05 PM PDT by Breanne L. Heldman

Kika Press, PacificCoastNews.com

She adopts foreign children, she donates money to earthquake victims and now she's trying to save an endangered species: newspapers.

The Material Mom is using her literary prowess—which she undoubtedly honed when she authored Sex and a slew of children's books—to pen an article for the Israeli paper Yediot Ahronot.

While the pop queen is not Jewish (she is dating a guy named Jesus), she has taken the Hebrew name of Esther and adopted the tenets of Jewish mysticism known as Kabbalah. Her religious "awakening" 14 years ago is the subject of her article, titled "How My Life Changed."

The paper ran a preview today of the story, which is set to publish on Friday, to get you excited to learn even more about Lil' Booty's private life than we already have this week.

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Perhaps Madonna wrote her lengthy article by hand, because these certainly aren't the arms of a hunt-and-pecker.