Morning Piss: Top 5 Celeb DUIs!
AP Photo/Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department
Happy St. Patty’s, folks! Today’s the top holiday for making bad decisions while being piss drunk—and celebs are no exception. In fact, when they ef by swigging back all sorts of sinful concoctions, their careers only seem to get hotter! Look at the loot Mel Gibson’s religious flicks make. Or look at fab hot celeb mama Nicole Richie if you don’t believe me.
So in honor of the day where drinking booze and getting in trouble is the only tradition, here’s A.T.’s top five celeb DUIs of all time:
Lindsay Lohan: I personally favor DUIs where Linds extends all logic by insisting the cocaine found on her person didn’t belong to her—neither did the pants she was wearing. With an imagination like that, LiLo should stop being an actress and become a screenwriter.
Paris and Barron Hilton: Both Hilton sibs know what it’s like to drive under the influence and be left in jail. We bet Nicky feels left out; it’s only a matter of time until she’s on this list, too. She’d prolly pose for a better mug shot than Barron, also.
Mel "Sugar Tits" Gibson: Prolly the most career-threatening DUI in the history of celebs driving under idiocy. But hey, Mel apologized to God and Diane Sawyer, so everything’s cool.
Shia LaBeouf: The worst DUI on the list, 'cause he wasn’t even charged. Sure, Shi-Shi’s car crash busted up his hand—and possibly his day job—but he was found not at fault for the accident. Ever hear of an innocent, completely sober driver refusing a Breathalyzer test? We haven’t, either.
Nicole Richie: Definitely the best DUI on the list. Why? 'Cause it finally wised up former bad girl Nic once ‘n’ for all (getting pregnant at the same time didn’t hurt, either). Ritchie’s finally behind the wheel again, and we’re not even scared. Good job, doll!
Remember, be nice to your liver today, babes, and go easy on all the green beer.
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