Giovanni Rufino / The CWTonight's Gossip Girl was all about facing your destiny, which a lot of our characters found out is a pretty scary thing to do.
Blair (Leighton Meester) was scared to learn the father of her child, Dan (Penn Badgley) dealt with his fear of publishing a tell-all book about his friends, Charlie/Ivy (Kaylee Defer) made a significant choice (and threat) and Nate (Chace Crawford) found himself in way over his head with Diana (Elizabeth Hurley).
We'll get to all of that in a minute, but first we have to talk about the big daddy reveal. So who's the father: Chuck (Ed Westwick) or Prince Louis (Hugo Becker)?
WHAT WE LEARNED:
It's Time to Daddy Up: It was time for Blair to face the music, or, in this case, the paternity test. Convinced Louis didn't want to be a father and that Chuck couldn't be a father, Blair ran from her problems...and from Dan (in all his "Muppet hair" glory), who was forcing her to face them. After having yet another public fight with Dan (oh those two!), Blair finally relented and opened the envelope. And the father is...Prince Louis! Much to Blair's surprise, Louis is absolutely thrilled and says he's always wanted to be a father and lied to the press about it to protect her. We have to admit, we thought Louis' reaction was pretty adorable, especially when he called himself "a very happy prince." Awww!
Truth & Consequences: Dan was juggling two issues in this episode: being there for Blair and dealing with Noah Shapiro (Whattup, season two?!) jackin' his book. While Blair was avoiding her problems by focusing on the Jenny Packham event, Dan avoided his book problem by focusing on Blair's problem...a lot. Basically, there was a lot of avoidance goin' on. After helping Blair conquer her paternity fear (and referencing Milo, his fake, always-wearing-a-wool-hat-in-the-summer son with Georgina), Dan finally had the courage to take responsibility for his book. Guess what? It was all an elaborate prank pulled by Noah and his team to force Dan out of hiding and it worked! Yes, that's right. Dan is finally facing his destiny...and the consequences that come along with it. But we'll get to that in a minute.
And the First Chair Scene Is: I think we can say that Chuck and Blair's first season-five scene together was equal parts tragic and epic, right? While it wasn't as memorable as their first season-four encounter in the Paris train station (we get chills just thinking about it!), it was pretty darn good and we're sure it had Chair fans shedding a tear or 10.
Our favorite part of Westwick's portrayal of Chuck Bass has always been his ability to show the vulnerability lying underneath the bravado, which he played to full effect in tonight's episode. Chuck's face when he saw Blair for the first time in almost two months? Sad. Chuck's face when he learned he wasn't the father of her child? Tragic. After throwing some light jabs at each other, Blair tells him, with all sincerity, "There was a part of me that really wanted it to be yours." And from Chuck's face, you can tell he wanted it to be, too. At the end of the episode, we learned our Dark Knight can finally feel again. (He has the tear-stained cheeks to prove it.) At least he has Monkey, (book reference!) the dog that Dan bought him, to keep him company. Yes, Dan bought Chuck a dog, which is obviously the first step towards a full-blown bromance. (What is their mashed-up name? Duck, Chan, Humpass? Tell us your favorite in the comments!)
Nate Finally Gets His Hands Dirty: Oh, Nate. You are cute, but so, so dumb. Our sweet Nate is getting himself into a world of trouble without even realizing it. While Nate enjoys his sexy times with Diana very much, he wants to actually work at his internship. Shocking, we know! Turns out, Diana is using Nate for his connections with Manhattan's elite as she wants to dethrone Gossip Girl as the gossip queen of the Upper East Side. For some odd reason, Nate, who has been at the center of many o' scandals, doesn't see this as a red flag and continues his partnership with Diana, even after she purposely causes the breakup of a congressman and his wife at a party. Hey, at least he's got the good looks to fall back on.
Say Yes to the Dress: That basically sums up Ivy/Charlie's storyline in this episode. Turns out, Ivy likes being Charlie more than she likes being Ivy. Can you blame her? Though she tries to leave, Serena (Blake Lively), who will not take no for answer (seriously), uses the power of fashion to convince Ivy to stay. When Carol comes to send Ivy packing, the struggling actress-identity thief threatens to tell the police that Carol hired her. "If you try to take me down, you're coming with me," Ivy warns her. Five points for Ivy! Too bad Nate and Diana have her phone that contains her web of lies. Ruh-roh!
ONE-LINERS
"Hi!" —Dan, sneaking up on Blair
"Like your hair, Humphrey. You look like a Muppet." —Blair
"Nothing more boring than a sense of morality." —Chuck
"I myself am fine with a model or a witty gay." —Blair
"You should dip your toe in illegal activity before you dive right into it." —Nate
"I come from nothing. Everything here sparkles." —Ivy, talking about the UES
"I knew you were the only one who would protect me from my own worst instincts." —Blair, to Dan
"This fairy tale is complicated." —Blair
WHAT LIES AHEAD
A Real Dair Kiss? As you saw in the promo, Dan and Blair do kiss in the next episode, but is it a fictional part of his book or a reenactment of a scene viewers have yet to see? While executive producer Josh Safran says "maybe both," our lips are sealed. A journalist never tells. However, Blair did reveal in the promo that Dan wrote that they had sex, so we're thinking things are going to get a little steamy next week. Wheeee! Basically, the G.G. writers are going to dangle possibility in front of Dair fans like a delicious carrot just out of their reach. Looks like you're in it for the long haul, Dan and Blair fans!
Nate and Dan Heading For a Brodown: Yes, Nate is in fact the character Dan turned gay in his book. While it causes some tension between the BFFs, Dan's book may cause some even bigger tension with another character: Rufus (Matthew Settle), his father. The novel will bring Dan closer to another family member though: Serena, although she may have some ulterior motives...like trying to score the rights to his book for her production company.
Ivy the Spy: You know how Diana now has Ivy's phone, which contains her dirty little secret? Yeah, she's going to be using that to her, and The Spectator's, advantage pretty soon. Blackmail makes the foes grow fonder, does it not?
Rufly Lives! Lily (Kelly Rutherford) is finally free, y'all! Rufus works his rocker charm and has Lily's house arrest sentence reduced. What a guy! Though they've experienced their fair share of drama in the past (Oh hi, secret love child!), you can expect this couple to remain solid this season. "We really don't want to mess with that couple. We really believe that they worked really hard to get together," Safran says. "I think that might mean less single standalone stories for them, but that's because we want them to be grounded, together and intact so they fold into each people's stories as opposed to having their own definable arcs." Works for us!
What did you think of tonight's episode, G.G. fans? Are you happy with the identity of the baby daddy or do you think Blair was lying? And what are you most looking forward to next week: Dan and Blair kiss or hearing all of the details of Dan's book? Sound off in the comments!