21 Things Ben Affleck Might Have Whispered to Jennifer Lopez at the Oscars

What were these two exes talking about at the Academy Awards

So apparently something happened at the Academy Awards that was so monumental that you will have to tell your grandchildren about. You will refer to it as "The Greatest Mystery of the Century," and they will beg you to spin your tale:

"I remember where I was when I found out that Ben Affleck…you might know him as Superman. He used to be Batman but then he switched characters in the middle of the movie. It was a really weird plot twist. But that's what you get when Jaden Smith is your screenwriter. Anyway, at the 2015 Oscars—you know them as the Leonardo DiCaprio Awards now, he whispered something to his ex-girlfriend, Jennifer Lopez. They were called 'Bennifer' back in the day. So he said something into her ear and she gave him a playful smack afterward. We don't know what he said! We may never know. Those two were sent into space five years later and were never seen again. Now, who wants to take me to the Taylor Swift Presidential Library?"

Yeah, it'll probably go something like that. 

Anyway, since we probably will never know what Ben said to Jen, all we can do is speculate wildly and irresponsibly. And that is one of our favorite things to do.

Here are 21 possible things that Ben might have said to J.Lo to earn a good-natured smack:

1. "Darling, I'm a daydream dressed as a nightmare."

2. "Argo f--k yourself. Remember? Because of my Oscar-winning movie?"

3. "You were great in The Boy Next Door."

4. "Hail Hydra."

5. "I'm Batman."

6. "Are you still Jenny from the Block? Asking for a friend."

7. "I got stoned last night and wrote a prequel to Gigli."

8. "I have 'Bennifer' tattooed somewhere on my body. I just thought you should know."

9. "Whose soul did you devour to look this good at 45? Asking for…me."

10. "I still have that Fly Girl costume I used to wear for you."

11. "Do you want to play the new Catwoman? Halle Berry was unavailable."

12. "I took your advice, and now Batman is going to have more cleavage and bat nipples."

13. "Do you want to build a snowman?"

14. "Do you still have the ring I gave you? I've been dying to go on Pawn Stars."

15. "I really want to pose like Kim Kardashian did for Paper magazine. Smack me if I should do it."

16. "Why weren't you at our last Fifty Shades of Grey discussion group?

17. "Hit me if you think Reindeer Games was a terrible movie."

18. "Hit me if you think Paycheck was underrated."

19. "Where is the taco emoji we've been promised?"

20. "I've been doing so many bicep curls, Jen. Hit me and feel how rock-hard my guns are."

21. "I bet you $100 that reporters are going to make an entire news story about this moment. Slap me across the arm so it seems scandalous."

Well, he definitely was not wrong about that one.