Dad Accidentally Discovers His Teenage Son Is Gay, Consults Reddit on How to Respond

"What are my options?" he he asks online forum, "Should I wait for him to tell me? or should I make a few hints at it?"

By Rebecca Macatee Nov 20, 2014 3:19 PMTags
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A person's Google search history can often provide a direct window to their soul.

So when a 38-year-old single dad accidentally saw that his 13-year-old son had been looking up things along the lines of "I'm gay, what now," he was conflicted. Should he pretend he didn't see It and wait for his son to come out on his own terms? Or, should he tell him he loves him and supports him no matter what? Dad wasn't sure, so he consulted Reddit for advice.

"What are my options?" he asked. "Should I wait for him to tell me? or should I make a few hints at it?"

"I'm worried that if I don't hint at it, that he will be worried about something that he really doesn't have to be worried about," the dad explained.

"He has seemed slightly down recently, as in, he isn't as cheerful as he once was, and I desperately want to tell him that I love him regardless of which sexuality he is," he continued. "I love him regardless of which gender he loves, in fact when I was slightly older than him I had a few flings with guys, which he doesn't know about, so I am 100% supportive."

The fellas at r/askgaybros were happy to share their input. "Google 'how to tell my son I will love and support him no matter what' and leave it in his search history," suggested one user. Another suggested the dad let his son "come to you with this," suggesting int he meantime, he start being discretely supportive of LGBT matters, by "[making] a positive remark when gay marriage is discussed on tv, compliment(iing) a show for their inclusiveness of LGBT characters, etc."

Don't "force him to 'come out' before he's ready," suggested another user. "There's no telling what he himself thinks about the whole 'liking guys' thing yet, so it would probably be best to give him some space for the time being. What you can do, is lead him in the right direction. Without being too obvious, introduce some more LGBT culture into his life...Let him know what side you are on, and that you are there for him if he needs the support."

So what did dad do? In an update posted to Reddit a few days later, he explained that he "started off with talking about general media with [his son]," like "how awesome it was that Tim Cook (CEO of Apple) came out as being gay..."

The following day, he asked his son if he had any crushes, and when he said maybe, the dad asked who was "the lucky person."

"At this point he sort of looked at me slightly confused, I'm not 100% sure why, but I'm assuming it is because I said 'lucky person; rather than ;lucky girl,;" continued dad.

At that point, he "dropped the conversation," but in doing so, he told his son, "Well, whoever it is, they should be so lucky to have you as a boyfriend.."

That night, after a few seconds of silence, the son told his father, "I'm gay." Dad got up, "and gave him a huge hug," he wrote. "[The son] even started to cry on my shoulder and because of that I couldn't help myself but shed a couple tears. We talked for a bit while finishing our dinner about how I can't emphasize enough that I love him regardless of which gender he loves etc..."

Countless Redditors were bestowing gold (fictitious currency) onto the dad. He was appreciative, at first, but then suggested a better use of well-wishers' funds: Giving to a charitable organization. " I've heard wonderful things of The Trevor Project," he wrote, "who provide a 24/7 suicide and crisis prevention hotline for LGBTQ youth."