Trae Patton/NBCTaylor Swift, also currently known (by us, at the very least) as the Queen of Pop Music and Also Everything, stopped by The Voice tonight to mentor some young musicians in the art of music. However, we quickly noticed that Taylor wasn't just giving them advice on music. She was actually giving them – and all of us – advice on life, love, and happiness. Here are a few of the things we learned from tonight's appearance:
— "What is exciting for an audience is if you go slow, medium, fast, really slow, fast."
An even pace is for suckers who did not just release the album of the century today. This pattern not only applies to music, but could also work for relationships, marathons, typing, dancing, talking, or anything you want.
— "If you're coasting, you're backsliding."
This is just good general advice for life, as is everything Taylor Swift has ever said.
— "It sounds like a conversation for maybe never."
This was in reference to Adam Levine being a cyborg(?), but this is an excellent way to shut down any convo that isn't going your way.
— TSwift's karaoke go-to is "How Do I Live" by LeAnn Rimes, which means that our new karaoke go-to is "How Do I Live" by Leann Rimes. After literally every song on 1989, of course.
— "You are so amazing. You make me want to cry."
The idea of having Taylor Swift say this to us is making us cry.
— When in doubt, feel your way through an interpretive dance to a Beyonce song, like TSwift did when trying to get Sugar Jones to understand Beyonce.
— "You can call me Tay, I'll call you Taylor."
Whatever you say, Tay.
— "I have two. I have cats. Plural."
As we all should. Also, having a tree that smell like cat urine is not the same as having a cat. Duh, Blake Shelton.
— "I think it's a teddy bear."
Then it probably is. Except in this case, it was a guitar.
This girl is us.