1. When she wore a schoolgirl outfit.
And danced her way into all of our hearts.
2. When she wore a bright red bodysuit.
Like all Martians do. (She was a Martian in this video, right?)
3. When she wore nothing but diamonds.
And all was right in the world.
4. When she wore nothing at all.
And danced on a stripper pole. Gimme more?! What more could she give us?!
5. When she stole bitch Britney's mirror.
You're so lucky! Why are you crying? Your cell phone is enormous!
6. And when she died in her "Everytime" music video.
Then un-died. Or got reincarnated. Or something.
7. When that astronaut gave her the Heart of the Ocean in "Oops!...I Did It Again."
After he fell in love with her. On Mars. Because she's a Martian. And she thought the old lady dropped it in the ocean at the end but, well baby, he went down and got it for you. ("Aw, you shouldn't have.")
8. When she did this with her boobs in the "Toxic" video.
Flawless.
9. When she did this with her hips in the "I'm a Slave 4 U" video.
Flawless.
10. When she was the ringleader and all eyes were definitely on her.
11. When she went Britishney on us and, yeah, we turned that s--t up.
12. And you can't forget when she told us to work, bitch!
The only acceptable response to this song: You werked.
13. All those unforgettable MTV VMA performance: When she stripped down in 2000.
14. When she danced with a snake in 2001.
And everyone lost their minds.
15. When she kissed Madonna in 2003.
Scratch that. This is when everyone lost their miiiiinds.
16. And when this happened in 2007.
We know you remembered it. Whether you wanted to or not.
17. All.
18. Those.
19. Iconic.
20. Performances.
21. And she still knows how to put on a show.
22. Which is how we know she will continue to slay in Las Vegas when she starts up her residency. Our reaction during the show will probably be something like this:
23. When she expanded her résumé into movie stardom with the feature film Crossroads.
Oscars all around!
24. When she was a fembot and Austin Powers made her explode.
25. When she appeared on our TV sets, in Britney & Kevin: Chaotic. And we were like…
26. But then she reappeared on Will & Grace...
27. And How I Met Your Mother. And we were like, yes! Give us Britney on TV every week!
28. So The X Factor happened! And we met "mean Britney." And we loved her too.
29. It also helps that she bestowed unto us the greatest GIF ever:
30. All the times that she was the goofy, amazing Britney we love.
31. And all the times she had us smelling fresh.
(Buy "Perfume" on iTunes now!)
32. So happy birthday, Britney!
Make sure this is a birthday you'll never forget.